What to do if you feel stuck.
Most of us have “day jobs,” putting in hours and hours doing things that don’t matter so that one day we will hopefully do something that does. But for many, that day never comes, and we end up pushing mail carts for the rest of our lives. Somewhere along our journey, we lost our cape — that fearless feeling we had when we were climbing trees barefoot, spinning on our heads, and seeking adventures as if they were Groupons. The truth is, we haven’t lost our cape. We buried it, deep inside a hope chest with a lock made of routine, logic, and fear.
John Kim, LMFT is a published writer, speaker, life coach, and a co-founder of SHFT.As he was going through an expired relationship, John created a blog on Tumblr and titled his first post “My Fucking Feelings”. He named his blog The Angry Therapist and started to document his journey post divorce. Even though he was a licensed therapist, John chose not to present himself that way. He wore t-shirts and jeans. He preferred the language of “me too” as opposed to “you should”. He blogged about his short comings, revelations, and his views on relationships, the self help business, and the world. He found CrossFit, bought a motorcycle, and started coaching people in unconventional ways. Soon he had a full practice. He would see clients all over the world using his phone. And zoomed around town and his motorcycle to do sessions in coffee shops. Through this process, he came up with his own concepts.
Editor: Nadeem Noor
It’s time to break that lock with a giant sledgehammer and feel invincible again. You can’t give yourself a choice. If you do, what’s left? A world not worth saving.
Here are five ways to get that cape on again:
1. Unlock your logic and start listening to your quiet voice.
Usually it’s a faint whisper, not a God-like thundering voice, which leads you to strength and purpose. Of course, this takes time. We don’t trust this voice. We haven’t in a very long time. And that’s one of the reasons why we punch clocks instead of the sky. We lost trust in ourselves, and the result of that is life stutter. If you don’t start listening to your quiet voice, you'll always be a Clark Kent who can’t find a pay phone.
2. Lean into what terrifies you.
If you weren’t afraid, you wouldn’t be alive. But what terrifies you is what’s keeping you from living. For many, it’s failure. Acknowledge it. Accept it. Push through it. And you’ll realize it doesn’t exist. It’s just a projected shadow, like that thundering voice mentioned above. Fear can protect you, but being terrified will paralyze you. You can’t feel invincible and terrified at the same time. You must pick one. The choice is yours.
3. Redefine what matters.
Write down what really matters in your life. Many of us hold on to things that once mattered but don’t anymore, and without realizing it, because we haven’t done a self-inventory in so long. Take out a sheet of paper and start taking notes: What truly matters to you today? Not yesterday or tomorrow. Today. This minute. What really matters to you? If your page is blank, there’s nothing to fight for.
4. Instead of thinking about how you want to be perceived, think about how you want to be remembered.
Most of us can't find our cape because we've exchanged our truth for membership. Somewhere along our journey, we started to care more about what others think than showing the world who we are and what gifts we have to share. If you're always starting from how you want to be perceived, you'll always feel like your light's been dimmed. Starting from how you want to be remembered will make you feel invincible.
5. Make sense of your story.
Many look for answers everywhere else except their own story. Our story is the most powerful thing we have. It's what makes us unique, potent, and strong. If we deny it, we become sheep. If you pull back and review your story, you'll see what the universe has in store for you. If you don't see it, you haven't accepted your story. Completely accepting your story, every part of it, and making sense of it is what will help you stand tall.