He was a bright and an extraordinary kid of my nest. I – his mother – always dream for his bright future. After the overwhelming victory in high school, we decided to send our youngest son to America for graduation. It was a dream comes true. I was finally sending him for the best education available. I was feeling I have all what I dreamt for, my life is Complete. Then, one unkind day changed my perception towards my “complete life”. It was the day when I received a call from a psychiatric hospital in America; they told me that my son is admitted there. He was diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic. Suddenly everything around me lost its meaning and I thought there must be some misunderstanding. It can’t happen to me. How can God be so cruel to me? I have done nothing wrong in my life, then why me?
This is just one; I deal various cases in routine, which comes to me for treatment/counseling of “unresolved grief”. Grief is quite common and is the normal internal feeling experienced in the reaction of loss or tragedy. Grief is usually discussed in reference to the death of a loved one or loss;but it can be experienced in the result of any affliction. Some grief automatically resolved with the passage of time. However, some needs conscious and persistent effort to resolve it. Such a grief is prolonged grief, which is a reaction to a pain more than one year and the grief reaction affecting all of the sufferer’s close relationships, disrupting his or her beliefs, and resulting in the bereaved experiencing an ongoing longing for their deceased loved one.
Recovery from grief is very important, if left unresolved it will affect a person’s life socially, mentally and spiritually. The potential negative effects of a grief reaction can be significant. It effects sleep and hunger cycles. A person in this state loss his interest in everyday activities, results negligence towards his own physical/psychological health. This all leads towards clinical anxiety, depression and post-traumatic stress disorder. An in-depth knowledge about signs and symptoms and stages of grief recovery is the pre-requisite to overcome your grief and start a healthy and productive life. One should asses then whether he or she has normal grief, complicated grief, or some other issue. Symptoms of complicated grief include intense emotions and longings for the misfortune, severely intrusive thoughts about the tragedy that leads to rumination, extreme feelings of isolation and emptiness, avoiding doing things that bring back memories of the departed, new or worsened sleeping problems, and having no interest in activities that the sufferer used to enjoy.
Grief recovery is a process consists of seven stages/phases. These phases can be applied to any significant personal loss, misfortune, catastrophe, diagnosis of a chronic disease, anticipating one’s own death, as well as the death of a loved one. These stages don’t all have to occur, can take place in different order, and can reoccur many times as part of an individual’s specific grief process.Grief experts describe stages of grieving, specifically
- shock or disbelief,
In the stage of denial as the bereaved having difficulty believing what has happened, the anger phase as the survivor questioning the fairness of the loss, the bargaining stage as wishing to make a deal with fate to gain more time with the one who was lost, the depression stage as the period when the bereaved person gets in touch with how very sad they are, and acceptance as feeling some resolution to their grief and more ability to go on with their own life.
The journey from denial to acceptance needs forgiveness which leads to enhanced personal development. Effective coping tips for grieving are nearly as different and numerous as there are bereaved individuals. However, there are some vital habits that can help in this journey. The most important concern in this regard is continuing nutritious and regular eating habits, getting extra rest, proper sleep, and communicating with surviving friends and families or writing a journal are some ways for grief sufferers to ease the grief process.The use of supportive structure can also go a long way to helping the aggrieved individual come to terms with their loss. Anything from reciting comforting prayers or affirmations, to returning to established meal and bedtimes, can help grieving individuals regain a sense of normalcy in their lives. For clinical and prolonged grief, therapy works miraculously. For all those who are on this journey from denial to hope must remember that the emotion that breaks your heart is the very one that heals it. Human beings have the inbuilt art to make itself again after been broken into million pieces, all we need is an effort and faith. Although it’s difficult where you are today to see beyond the sorrow but one day looking back in the memory will comfort you.