It may be hard to admit but once in a while we all look in the mirror and see an angry and furious portrait of ourselves. Things are worse when we feel like this in the company of other people; we must choose how we express our anger. In simple words we are being directed by our emotional state. Anger in particular leads one towards destroying relationships and ourselves. It is important to note that anger can be dealt with, its adversity can be brought to a halt by taking a few simple steps. The root is to remain calm while experiencing changing emotions. The simple steps as stated below cover techniques that can be used at point or should be practiced in daily routine to calm self in crucial moments.
Give yourself space to breath:
Acting in the moment of heightened emotions is never a good idea. Give yourself a break, time to pause and replenish your breath. This will not only give you time to think and understand before you act but give your mind a fresh calmed start.
The appropriate way is to inhale for four seconds, hold the breath for four seconds and then exhale for four seconds.
Pause and reflect on the situation:
When emotions are becoming too much to handle, delay reacting on the situation and reflect on your feelings. Ask yourself how you are coming across to others in your angry state? Ask yourself if you’re in fact sticking to facts rather then assumptions. Are you empathetic towards the person in front of you. Such simple questions can help give a kick start to your frontal cortex (the part that thinks). Once we start thinking we can calm ourselves down with the power of our mind.
Think long-term and know the choice is yours
Realizing that we are in full control of our own reaction no matter how devastating the situation can be a very relieving experience. Once you begin to think about what you actually want out of the situation you can deal with people objectively and assertively. Remember to declare what goals you have for the relationship and where you see it in the future. This will help you remain in check of your intentions and make others aware of it as well. Once your long term strategy is clear in your head you will automatically find your path in high emotions.
Label your emotion
It helps to identify and understand your feeling, and what better way is there then to give it a name. You may label your state of mind as frustrated, it will only make more emotionally intelligent and better equipped to deal with the situation at hand.
Don’t entertain negative thoughts and statements
Negative thoughts that place you in the victim role, and others in the villain role are unhealthy for your own mind. Avoid statements based on assumptions about others. Using absolute vocabulary like always, never, should and shouldn’t maybe too judgmental and create a barrier in your communication. Put focus more on the positive and supportive thoughts.
Catharsis in Writing
There is no better way to let go of a situation then to write about it in detail. As it is rightly said writing increases understanding. Anger tends to linger on even after the situation has subsided, and can be very burdensome. Writing things out will help you clarify the complexity of the situation and reach a relieving conclusion on the matter.
Spill your guts
Find someone you trust and let them know how you feel. Make sure the person is ready to listen to you first and can be trusted to give productive feedback. Good Friends always leave you feeling calmer once you have vented. If you are left feeling frustrated, don’t be shy to consult a professional.
Burn some anger calories
After you’ve experienced an anger bout, an effective way to calm oneself is to indulge in any kind of exercise. It can also be helpful if you have suppressed your anger, and need to vent it out on a punching bag. Once you fully engage yourself in physical activity it will distract you from your anger and make you calm.
Nature is soothing
Take a break under the sun amongst the greenery. Find the closest park and go there to breath in some fresh air and relax. It will help you calm down. Research has shown nature can have an empowering impact on your mood especially when it’s a part of your routine.
By Saad Shaheed & Ruhan Sana