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In our lives there are certain occasions when we cannot solve our problems by ourselves and we need the guidance of somebody who is reliable enough to have known how of our problem. But, sometimes we fall in such critical situation when our near and dear ones fail to sort out the problem. In such cases “A Professional Counseling” is required.

Now question arises what is counseling? shumaila-batool-smallCounseling is one way to helping people, but it is a special way which involves the use of particular skills for specific purposes. The process aim at achieving a greater depth of understanding and clarification of the problem or a conflict and mobilizes personal coping abilities. It is not an ordinary everyday conversation but it considered as a limited supportive activity which aims at developing a person’s understanding and place him in a position where he can decided upon and initiate a constructive change.

Necessary actions of counseling session:

  • Establishing a relationship of mutual trust in which patient feel secure and able to express them in any way.
  • Provision of reassurance.
  • Empower the client so that they can make their own decisions.

Don’ts of counseling:

  • Don’t ask ‘why’ questions. They imply interrogation.
  • Don’t blame the client.
  • Don’t use ‘should’ and ‘ought’. They imply moralization.
  • Don’t invalidate the client’s feeling.

Misconception about counseling:

  • It makes people less emotional.
  • It involves giving direct advice to solve the client’s problems.
  • It gives guidelines to clients.
  • It bases on friendly relationship.

Many years ago Carl Roger identified a number of counselor characteristics which are important in counseling relationship. These characteristics are necessary for effective outcome.

  1. Congruence
  2. Empathetic Understanding or Empathy
  3. Unconditional Positive Regard

Congruence:
To be congruent the counselor must be genuinely themselves: a complete, integrated and whole person. By avoiding over emphasis of your professional role, stereotyped behavior, by being spontaneous, open and non-defensive, consistent in value and behavior, remaining respectful and tactful, and the counselor would be able warmth and genuinity to his client.

Empathetic Understanding or Empathy:
Empathy is the ability to accurately perceive other’s feelings and communicating this understanding to clients effectively.It’s different from sympathy which implies sorry for them.Counselor need to be able to put his/her self in the shoes of the clients and understand the situation from their point of view. Even if he/shedon’t agree with their perspective, there is still need the ability to understand how it feels to them in order to address their issue effectively.

Unconditional Positive Regard:
It involves being non-judgmental and having deep and positive feeling for the client.It is basic acceptance and support of a person regardless of what the person says or does. Rogers believes that unconditional positive regard is essential to healthy development.Unconditional positive regard can be misunderstood as being nice, pleasant, or agreeable with others; however, unconditional positive regard is not an action towards others. Rather, it's more like a feeling or mindset.

Being listened to by someone who understands makes it possible for persons to listen more accurately to themselves, with greater empathy toward their own visceral experiencing, their own vaguely felt meaning” – Carl Rogers