Last week I talked about the power of saying no, and shared examples of requests, activities, habits and ideas we can say no to. Because saying no gives us the time, space and energy to say yes to what truly nourishes and serves us.
But what are those things for you? Once you say no, what are the yeses you’ll be focusing on?
Because knowing your yeses creates a fulfilling, satisfying life. Because knowing your yeses supports you in saying no.
Margarita Tartakovsky is an associate editor at PsychCentral.com, an award-winning mental health website, and the voice behind Weightless, a blog that helps women deal with body image issues and disordered eating. She also writes a monthly feature for Beliefnet.com, covering topics such as patience and procrastination.
Editor: Muhammad Talha
Because your yeses are so vital, so important that saying no becomes a priority, a way for you to protect what’s precious to you.
Like your list of no’s, it helps to reflect and create a list of requests, activities, habits and ideas we will say yes to. It helps to zero in on what matters to us, what’s meaningful and essential to our lives.
Questions to Consider
These are questions you can ask yourself to uncover, explore and better understand your yeses:
- What almost always brings a smile to my face?
- What is one small way I’d like to nourish myself every day, something that is a non-negotiable?
- What are the top five things that are most important to me in this world?
- Who are the people in my life who truly support me?
- What dreams would I like to come true?
- What am I tired of?
- What would I like to learn?
- Where do I feel a lack, starvation, a missing piece?
- What do I have in my life now that I want more (and more) of?
- What does a fun day look like for me — from the moment I wake up to the moment I close my eyes in bed?
A Sample List of Yeses
What you say yes to — the activities, habits, requests and ideas you welcome into your life — will reflect your priorities. It’ll speak to what you find precious, non-negotiable and significant.
Your list may include 20, even 40 things. Or you might keep it short, and list the top three things you’ll say yes to. Your list can take any shape or form. This is just one example:
- Experimenting with physical activities to find the ones you really enjoy.
- Learning a new skill, hobby or passion.
- Learning to trust and love yourself, one step at a time.
- Making time to talk and hang out with supportive people.
- Opportunities that bring a smile to your face (even if they also bring butterflies).
- Requests from others that feel good.
- Mini weekend adventures to your favorite places.
- Eating when you’re hungry.
- Eating dessert and any other foods you enjoy.
- Sharing what’s really on your mind with the people you trust.
- Noticing the sweet moments in your life.
- Focusing on your well-being, not your weight.
- Choosing kindness when your inner critic is roaring.
- Telling someone how you really feel.
- Having one day a week with zero technology.
- Reading magazines that are interesting and actually make you feel good.
- Stories that serve and empower you.
- Reaching out for help — whether this is talking to your best friend or seeing a therapist or both.
- Listening to your body.
- Doing what makes you happy — despite the self-doubts and second-guesses.