Hold back denial
It is not easy to hold back our denial. If we find our self stuck in it, the following strategies might help.
- Truthfully examine the fear.
- Think about the possible negative consequences of not taking action.
- Allow the expression of fears and emotions.
- Try to identify illogical beliefs about the situation.
- Journal the experience.
- Disclose to a trusted friend or loved one.
- Participate in a support group.
How to stop the denial
In order to stop denial we must learn to develop a peaceful acceptance of the truth. If we calmly face the problem, acknowledge the truth about what is going on and accept that it is happening to us, we can develop a way for handling the situation. The important point is that whether or not you were responsible for causing the problem but you are now responsible for solving it. Instead of questioning “why” did this problem occur to me it’s better to think “what” I am going to do to overcome the problem. We own the problem and it is yours alone. You are responsible for dealing with it whether you like it or not. The only choice is whether we will deal with it effectively or ineffectively.
Turning off the denial is the key to turn on the management of the problem. Therefore, we are all responsible for learning how to manage our own denial, so we can see what is truly wrong with us and develop an effective plan for dealing with it.
The management of denial is comprised of nine different exercises.
- Understanding denial as a normal reaction
This is the very first exercise in which we develop understanding that denial is a natural and normal reaction. Taking it as an initial step for recovery, it is our search for the truth despite the mistakes we make in our lives. We have to admit that each of us have a fragile ego which can be easily hurt. Denial is a lie we make in order to satisfy our ego.It allows us to keep telling ourselves a lie in order to shield us from the bitter realities of life.
- Making an understanding of the principles of denial
Getting an understanding about how denial works is very important. It is an automatic and unconscious response. It is a common psychological defense. If it works properly it has advantages as well and if unmanaged it can cause many disadvantages. Part of the benefit is that it lets us avoid the feeling of pain that can be felt due to a sudden stressors. On the other hand it also prevents us from viewing and understanding the real depth of the problem which requires our attention and needs to be managed properly. Shame, guilt, anger and fear are some of the primary feelings that derive denial. Accepting the truth and appropriate problemsolving strategies can work as antidote to the denial.