Personal problems approach us in all sorts of shapes and sizes. They might be trivial or challenging, amusing or traumatic, expected or unexpected, temporary or persistent. Life is clutter up with personal problems. Pick up any magazine, newspapers you will find it filled with personal problems of one sort or another. They might be in shape of medical, health, legal, financial, relationships emotional or psychological, problems. In this article we focus on how to solve problems that hinder our relationships with other people and restrict us to adopt a good strategy for solving them out. According to a recent research about 70% of the conversations among people are about personal problems. Then come the conversations about sports, then life styles and politics as well.
What is a personal problem? It is realty hard to define it precisely as so much depends on the individual who is facing it. As a major problem for one person is a minor inconvenience to another. Probably the easiest way to think of a problem is to imagine it as a ‘space’. The space is the difference between what you have got and what you want. If you have a friend who constantly criticizes you and you want a partner who constantly admires you then you have got a space. In other words Personal problem is simply a problem belongs to you.
An important feature of personal problems is that it develops gradually over a period of time. At first the problems are insignificant. Gradually over week, months developed into significant personal problems. It’s rather seems as a triangle. At the base end the problems are not worth bothering about. It is only when we get to top and problems seem pressing, with hindsight; it is easy to look back down the bases or slopes of triangle and see the actions we should have taken.
Here are some deviant approaches that we use to solve our personal problems;
Simply it is do nothing and hope that problems will go away. This is a widespread reaction to personal problems. Many reasons are involved in the temptation to put things off. Doing something, as to solve the situation involves risk. It requires a lot of courage. Another reason why we often opt to do nothing is that we think something magical will happen and all of problems are solved. We hesitate to take initiatives. So, wishful thinking or doing nothing is not recommended as a particular fruitful approach.
We discount personal problems. We convince ourselves that they are not really important. In a sense, denying of personal problems is another way of trying to become psychologically comfortable. We don’t want to upset our surroundings. There are always plenty of excuses preventing us to take actions. Denying the problems, especially with people is a common practice. All the researches have shown that discounting problems is not an effective way of dealing with them.
Stick it to Oneself And Worry About it:
There may be reasons for keeping a personal problem to oneself. It may be of that there is no one available. Many people feel that admitting to personal problems is really making an accord with failure. The astonishing thing about worrying is that even as we do it we know it is pointless. This difference between knowing one thing and doing another is common in humans. It reminds us that logic and emotions often operate independently of each other.
Smiling and Bearing:
Smiling and bearing is certainly preferable to worrying. But this approach still has the major disadvantage of laziness. To some extent it has the advantage of being brave enough to talk and cheer about it. In reality it is a sort of apathetic surrender to problems. Your energy is invested in courage rather than being directed at solving the problems. This thing also explains an interesting fact of why women spend more time talking, wring and reading about personal problems. They are less handicapped than men at admitting to have personal problems.
Complain About it:
Grumbling about the people who ‘cause’ our personal is almost a worldwide national pastime. You can either complain to someone or about someone. If we complain behind people’s back, to an uninvolved person, it is an excellent way to win sympathy and attention. There is a good chance that your listener will admire you by telling how right you are. This, of cause does miracles for your morale but little else to solve the problem. If you select your listens wisely he way realizes that complaining is achieving and dents your thinking to take right actions.