Some people are unaware of the fact that the kind of behavioral tendencies they are generated within themselves are going to be attributed as traits of them. Certain people do nurture their prescribed traits. Then these traits become their identity in the society. They positive tendencies within human behavior bring fruits in their life. Similarly negative malice in tendencies fiddles away people. Every behavior, every tendency has its own antonyms. We will discuss the trait of discussion oriented approach and its flip side. Since ages mankind is in a searchfawad-aly-shah of adopting a strategy to resolve their conflicts peacefully. There are two approaches which are quite unique in their manifestation. One approach is to resolve your conflicts using discussion oriented paradigm and other one is by asserting your influence to draw results in your favor. This assertion of influence in its full phase is labeled as quarreling attitude. It’s very important to present your right stance in front of people. But manifestation of these stances should be discussion oriented rather in quarrelsome approach. The important point here is to know the difference between discussion and quarrelsome. Combative stance brings heat to situation. Discussion based style enlighten the atmosphere. Quarrelsome approach is a result of ego and blocked mentality. One the other hand discussions stems out from open mentality. Quarreling is an exchange of ignorant ideas and discussion carries knowledge within. There are certain principles which are quite important in this regard:

1.       Discussion revolves around the principle of let other person express his stance and you don’t poke in while he is expressing his arguments. Never try to interrupt him or defy him while he is presenting his arguments.

2.      Listen to the other person’s point of view with patience’s.

3.      While answering never answer for the sack of giving an answer. Your answers must be logical in sense.

4.      Never anticipate that other person will acknowledge his mistake. It’s really hard for some people to accept their faults.

5.          Do not waste your time in less important events.

6.      In discussion try to be flexible on small things but never compromise on your principle stance.

7.      Never over ride the situation with your direction less speaking.

8.      Give chance to your opponent to a graceful exit from his stance.

9.      Never make anything a bone of contention for yourself.

10.    Strong arguments and soft words will attract favorable outcomes in any discussion.

11.     Your tonality and body language must be appropriate to your stance.

          It is next to impossible to win in arguments with an ignorant person. He uses disturbing words which shows how weak his stance is? There is a very simple solution to this kind of problem which is showing your complete unfamiliarity with the issue. Certain phrases are quite helpful during discussion to avoid such kind of contentions situation. These phrases are listed below.

It seems like this.

It’s possible that I might be mistaken.

Why you are feeling that way?

Would you like to give further explanation?

Do you elaborate it in great detail?

If none of the above phrases work then it’s good to end that debate right away.

It is parent’s responsibility to teach their children how to speak and avoid quarrelsome attitude in any situation. It’s our duty to teach children how to be united while accepting the differences.

Plato said “Entire ignorance is not so terrible or extreme an evil, and is far from being the greatest of all; too much cleverness and too much leaning accompanied with ill bringing-up are far more fatal”.

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