It is surprising to hear when —even good parents can’t answer clearly—what is good parenting. I often get to hear incomplete, imprecise and disparate responses. One would think at times that educated and successful people of the society would present clear and concrete definitions of the most important fact of their lives; instead, we hear tangential explanations and nothing can be farther from the real thing.
drabdulThe Good news is that not all parents are thinking haywire when it comes to the crux of the matter. As part of my professional practice, I recently had a surprise, meeting a mother who had a concrete expression to clearly define the term. She said and I couldn’t agree more “Parenting is the art of training children for life, all of it”.
Professor Dr. Abdul Malik Achakzai is one of the few qualified and practicing psychiatrists of the country. He has been an avid contributor to the field since over three decades. He embarked upon his journey as a pioneer and faced widespread criticism and apprehension from a conservative society. He holds the highest qualification in psychiatry MRCPsych awarded by Royal College of Psychiatry, UK. Currently, he is the member Federal Mental Health Authority. He also served as member of Executive Committee, Pakistan Medical & Dental Council.
For more than 35 years, I and my colleagues have helped parents increase their influence with children. But it was a surprise that prior to helping them learn how to achieve it; we had to parenting skills as a core work to their attention.
This mother on the other hand, understands very clearly that her success and failure does not depend on whether she is visionary, inspirational or other buzz words but to whether her children adopt behaviors that bring success and improve results, Period.
Given that very few parents can even define parenting, it’s no surprise that their success with their children is mediocre at best. I have had the fortune of studying Parents with results and else, as to what commands success and failure in their children. It’s not that parenting is the single most important determinant in a child’s life and success, yet it is considered correctly by many as critical. Based on my work with thousands of parents, some key insights have emerged that will help us understand as to why so few parents exert influence well: