We human beings have a natural tendency of forgiving others more easily as compared to when it comes forgiving our own selves. Most researches and literature talks about forgiving others, however forgiving oneself is of supreme importance as it can result into serious psychological problems including eating disorders, drinking alcohol, drug abuse or suicidal attempts.
If you do a deep study of the subject, you will come across the element of guilt. An important point to mention here is as we all relate guilt to a negative term; it actually is a good emotion as it inculcates empathy for others. When guilt leads to self-forgiveness, it actually results an increase in self-esteem. But usually its difficult for people to pin down self-forgiveness which ultimately is the reason for an unhealthy guilt. In many cases the major reason of pain is the element of guilt which leads to condemning oneself repeatedly, again and again.
Mr. Haroon Christy Munir is the Director of Sadaqat Clinic Lahore and also working as Counselor at Willing Ways (pvt) Ltd. He has done Masters in Business Administration from Quaid-e-Azam University Islamabad and afterwards M.Sc Management from Leeds business School, United Kingdom. He is well known for counseling on assertiveness, life strategies, personality development of patients and family therapy.
Anger and resentments also become cause of a negative guilt and when these two combine up with guilt they directly hit your energy levels hence leading to depression, stopping from being successful, limited pleasure, and bad relationships management. You stuck yourself in past which stops you from looking for opportunities in future.
Forgiveness is a tool that actually helps you set free from the bitter chains of hatred, resentment and anger. The only possible solution that persists is to take the moral high ground and forgive. It is important to understand that forgiveness is not about the other person but it’s about YOU. It helps you at a much greater scale to get yourself emotionally stable. It’s all about dealing with yourself and doing it for your own being. A very important point to understand is that when you don’t forgive the other person you actually are giving your power away and you opt to suffer. Do self-talk and start helping yourself. Find out that easiest thing that if you do can help resolve the pain.