If you’re setting resolutions this year, consider reflecting on the below questions to make sure they’re truly right for you. Because what’s the point of making goals or creating intentions that only make you miserable while you’re trying to achieve them and live them?
Margarita Tartakovsky is an associate editor at PsychCentral.com, an award-winning mental health website, and the voice behind Weightless, a blog that helps women deal with body image issues and disordered eating. She also writes a monthly feature for Beliefnet.com, covering topics such as patience and procrastination.
Editor: Muhammad Talha
- Is this something I think I should do?
- Is this something I’m excited about?
- Am I setting this resolution from a “broken” place? That is, am I doing this to fix myself? (Because you are not broken. You never were.)
- Do I think that accomplishing this goal will finally make me good enough? (Because you are enough without having to do anything. You don’t need to strive for it.)
- Does the resolution focus on restriction and rigidity? Or does it leave room for flexibility?
- Is this resolution focused on perfection?
- Does this resolution focus on being a new me? (You don’t need some makeover. You don’t need to become a different person. Be you. Be the same you.)
- Does this resolution help me grow? (This is very different from the previously mentioned “new” you. It’s wonderful to evolve, and it’s important to learn from our mistakes or challenges, to overcome obstacles, to learn new things. But, again, you do not need to become a different person.)
- Does this resolution feel suffocating or liberating?
- Is this resolution more about others? (For instance, I just came across the show “Revenge Body,” which has been on my mind. Please don’t do anything out of revenge, to get back at someone, to make them jealous, to “show” them. Please don’t do anything for someone else in general. There’s a great quote you might’ve seen around the Internet, which speaks to this: “Resentment is like taking poison and hoping it’ll kill someone else.”)
- Will I enjoy practicing this resolution every day?
- Does this resolution honor who I am?
- Does this resolution honor my natural rhythms?
- Does this resolution inspire me?
- Does it empower me?
- Does it invigorate me?
- Does this resolution connect or disconnect me from myself?
- Does this resolution help me build a healthy, meaningful relationship with myself, with my world?
- Is this what I want in my heart of hearts?
- Am I doing this because I love myself? Or because I don’t?
Consider reflecting on these questions in your journal. Give yourself some time to consider whether the intentions or goals you’re setting are actually right for you. After all, we have a limited amount of time and energy. What do you really want to focus these finite resources on?