Becoming a parent is one of the biggest responsibilities one has to face in life. It’s challenging as well as rewarding. Many times parents take it for granted and thus they face unpredictable results. As a parent you will go through different type of feelings like love, joy, happiness, pride but also anger, frustration and panic. Always remember you don’t need to be perfect.
Parents need to understand that bringing up their child is like laying foundation of a building. Stronger the foundation, stronger will be the building. Being a parent doesn’t mean that you can’t make mistake but repeating them is definitely a BIG MISTAKE.
Love yourself, value yourself, trust yourself
Here are few suggestions, that if followed can help become a good parent
1. Make a difference
It is very important for parents to always make a difference, which means whatever they do while raising their child they should always think of the results before they act. Also known as Response inhibition, the first and the foremost important executive skill indicates the same, “think before you act”. Your child is always watching you so be careful when they are in front of you. Not to forget that a child has a strong observational learning tendency.
2. Define what does loving your child mean to you
Parents often make a big mistake by defining easygoingness, low expectations or materialistic belongings as loving the child. If that is the case than parents need to know that they actually are the enablers of an unproductive behaviour of their child and before they correct their child’s behaviour they need to work on themselves.
3. Be a part of your child’s life
Parents need to become part of their child’s life and hence they should be with them mentally as well as physically. Be vigilant all the time and find a balance between assistance and independence. Control the characteristics in which he/she seems to excel and give them liberty to take decisions.
4. Make rules
Always define rules to your child and always draw the boundaries for him. This should be catered in early age because the behaviors developed in young age will be followed the same way when reaching adulthood and life afterwards. Behaviors developed in early age of your childhood results whether your child is good enough in managing his life or not. If a parent has made a rule to be in bed by 10pm and up by 6am than that will be followed throughout life. Another example is if parents set a rule to be at home by 11 than after some time it becomes a habit of a child not to be late after 11. If a child follows them than based on these two we can conclude that the child is managing his life very well.
5. Don’t act the way previous generations have acted
When we become parents it is seemed as a natural tendency that we feel induced to act the same way our parents did to us. Negative behaviors that are transmitted to us through our parents need to be pin pointed well before time. If you know that a certain behavior has affected your personality than don’t let that penetrate in your child. Make sure that the pain you have faced must not be a part of your child’s personality. Deal them with love, affection, warmth and a perceptive guidance.
6. Parents are a role model
For children their parents are their ultimate role models. They observe them and thus they imitate them. So parents need to be really conscious that whatever they are doing is being observed by the little ones. Never underestimate child’s observation and always choose the right behaviour. So if there are some unproductive behaviors than both mother and father together need to work on that and should get it eliminated sooner the possible.
7. Be steady with your rules and regulations
Always be steady with your rules and regulations and keep them following. Don’t make an impression over your children that rules are made to broken. Being consistent is the most important disciplinary implementation. Always remember the act of authority is based on wisdom not on power.
8. Discipline, not harsh discipline
Parents need to understand that there is a difference between discipline and a harsh discipline. Hitting, spanking and slapping your child results in becoming more aggressive and bullied by others.
In a nutshell,
“Parents are teachers, guides, leaders, protectors and providers for their children”- IYANLA VANZANT