It’s never easy when a marriage or significant relationship ends. Whatever the cause for the crack and whether you wanted it or not the breakup of a relationship can turn your whole world upside down and activate all types of painful feelings and emotions.
Tips for grieving after a breakup or divorce:
But there are ample of things you can do to get through this difficult time and move on. You can even learn from the experience and turn into a stronger and wiser person.
- Don’t fight your feelings: It’s quite normal to have lots of ups and downs, and feel many conflicting emotions, including anger, resentment, sadness, anxiety, fear, shame and guilt. It’s important to recognize and accept these feelings. While these feelings and emotions will regularly be painful, trying to repress or ignore them will only prolong the grieving process.
- Talk about how you’re feeling: At times it is difficult for you to talk about your feelings with other people, it is very important to get a way to do so when you are sad and depressed. Knowing that others are responsive of your feelings will make you feel less alone with your pain and will help you heal.
- Remind yourself that you still have a future: When you commit to another person; you make many hopes and dreams. It’s tough to let these dreams go. As you grieve the loss of the future you once visualized, be encouraged by the fact that new hopes and dreams will ultimately substitute your old ones.
- Spend time with people who support, value, and boost you: As you think about who to reach out to, decide intelligently. Surround yourself with people who are optimistic and who truly listen to you. It’s important that you feel free to be honest about what you’re going through, without worrying about being judged, condemned, or told what to do.
- Build up new friendships: If you feel like you have lost your social circle along with the divorce or breakup, make an attempt to meet new people. Join a networking group or special interest club, take a class, and get engaged in community activities.
- Make time each day to cherish yourself: Help yourself heal by scheduling daily time for activities you find peaceful and soothing. Go for a walk in nature, listen to music, enjoy a hot bath, get a massage, read a favorite book, or take a yoga class.
- Stay away from using alcohol, drugs, or food to cope: When you’re in the center of a breakup, you may be tempted to do anything to alleviate your feelings of pain and loneliness. But using alcohol, drugs, or food as a run away is unhealthy and destructive in the long run. It’s important to find healthier means of coping with painful feelings.
- Get professional help if you need it: If reaching out to others doesn’t come naturally, consider seeing a counselor or joining a support group. The most important thing is that you have at least one place where you feel comfortable opening up.
In times of emotional crisis, there is an opportunity to grow and learn. Just because you are feeling emptiness in your life right now, doesn’t mean that nothing is happening or that things will never change. You can come out from this experience knowing yourself better and feeling stronger.