It is very important to learn about managing the breakup or handling divorce. It determines that how quickly and healthfully someone handles this bad news that his or her romantic partner no more desires to be in relationship with them. If someone is facing this bad news of breakup or divorce or predicting that something bad going to happen in relationship, you need to take some time and catch a moment to come out of this grief spiral. Utilize this time and consider that how you would want to manage this bad event in your best interest. Most of our difficulties are because of extreme wish to get attach to things which we think that, will stay forever.
Amina Javed is working as Clinical Psychologist at Willing Ways, Lahore. In 2015, she completed her MS in clinical psychology, from Centre Clinical Psychology, University of the Punjab, Lahore. In 2013, she did her BS in Clinical Psychology, University of the Punjab, Lahore.
Editor: Haroon Christy
Sometimes these bad events like breakup or divorce they make you feel miserable and don’t even like the sunshine or good things around you. Inspite of the fact that things are not as bad as you think but even then you feel bad. The pain is persistent and sky seems ugly. Pain is pain, nothing limits it to this thing that if a relationship is of couple of months or years it should not be that much painful, because feelings get hurt either relationship stays longer or few months.
People suffer and sufferings are very bad. Although it is very difficult time, but we can’t say that time will fly by using certain tricks or you won’t be that much hurt by using certain techniques. You need to gracefully accept this pain and keep yourself strong mentally and emotionally. Following are few ways to manage your breakup successfully.
- Keep your pride.
The most important thing in life is that how we see ourselves, our self-respect. It is most important rule, I would never recommend to beg to someone for your place. Don’t plead, don’t ask for one more chance or cry, writing lengthy letters, mails or messages. Don’t justify yourself, your existence and your love. If someone really needs you or respect you, he or she won’t leave you like this. Sometimes people send lyrics of songs to describe their feelings, I would say “Don’t do” and don’t degrade yourself. Accept the fact that this person is no more with you, come out of denial.
No one is perfect and breakups are something that happens with so many other people before you and will happened after you. Just like any other disaster in life which happen to other people too, this disaster also happened with you. Your partner is not flawless. Breakup is not something that determines your worth. If someone is not interested in keeping romantic relationship with you that does not predict your worth. Therefore crying loud, frantic efforts to save that relationship and begging for that love which you had before, these things will not alter the fact that your relationship has been ended and that person don’t want to be with you anymore. Even if relationship started again, this fact will always be in your mind. You will always wanted someone who stays with you no matter what circumstances are and stays committed and consistent with you.