How many times you come across to a situation when you are bound to do certain things otherwise. You might think its right to do so but your are mistaken; manipulated behaviors of others foster your action. You have become a victim of manipulation. It’s a very useful trap applying by others on you to get there desired results. You think that you are doing such favor for the sack of it but in fact you done it under influence of manipulation. The psychology of manipulation revolves around two entities one is the manipulator (the person who manipulates) other is person being manipulated. In any human interaction there is always some sort of manipulative tendencies occurring. The crux is that person should recognize it and make sure that he neither a manipulator nor being manipulated, as this results into dysfunctional relationship.
What is manipulation?
According to various psychologists “manipulation is a kind of social influence- when one person (the manipulator) tries to change the perception or behavior of another or others through deceptive and manipulative tactics”.
So, the above mention definition simply portrays that in manipulation which is a social influence perception and behavior of the person plays vital role.
People use different tactics to manipulate others, some of these tactics are listed below:
Guilt: – First sign of being manipulated is that the other person induces guilt into you. They do it purposefully for the specific reason and action. They use emotional statements that how could you do this to me? Don’t you trust? In a particular situation. Consider a friend of yours come to and ask help instead of being straight forward he twisted his way using emotional statements, beware he is manipulating you. If he is your true friend he will ask you right away.
Boost your ego: – Another effective trick is to boost up your ego for doing certain act. People put you up to pedestal and try to make it so that you like that good person they making you out to be by doing what they want to do. They use statements like this; I know you are really smart. Only you can do this job. Frequently people fell a prey to this trap and do certain things which they think are smart but actually a time buster.
Fear: – Psychologists are of the view that fear is such an amazing psychological motivator. It triggers our fight and flight mechanism. In many cases the manipulator attacks you with fear of doing certain action.
They use statements like this is our last chance, we are going to lose everything; nobody is going to like us. All these statements are appealing to your fear. In the result operating under fear you acts according to your manipulator. Next time if someone approaches you with fear of something make a conscious call is it natural or he is trying to manipulate you.
Curiosity: – Take an example, a bench of friends come to your place and ask you to go for a vacation. You are working on your project and have to complete it by the weekend. They insisted and using statements like, come on do it for us, you only live once, it might be fun, you will regret it if you miss the chance. What are they doing in your opinion; they are manipulating your curiosity. According to the research 9 out of 10 times people fell into this trap.
What to do?
As far we have seen the tricks of the trade now the remedial measures which should be taken to avoid being manipulated are as follows
Stop and step back: – When the manipulator hover upon you and in that tight scenario you have to stop flowing into emotionality; step back a little and start to pause a bit on the current situation.
Re-evaluate the whole situation: – When you find yourself into such tricky scene another rebuttal is to re evaluate the whole situation and start to look into the matter from a new perspective. You have to think otherwise in that situation. This approach gives you such an insight that you will be able to judge the rationality of your decision.
Stand up for yourself and be confident: – After re-evaluating the situation if you find that things are a bit on darker side than its time to stand up for your right and don’t be hesitate or reluctant about that. Assertively handle the course of affairs in that regard.