What can we do to master crucial conversation? When stakes are high, opinions vary and emotions run strongly at this crucial moment we act accordance to our worst behavior. Now here we need one thing that may fix that issue effectively. The one thing is a way to get all relevant information (from self and others) as a free flow of relevant information so that people can openly and honestly share their feelings, express their opinions and articulate their theories at crucial moments.
How dialogue works?
Here we discuss the power of dialogue. First of all we define dialogue as “free flow of meaning between two or more people”.
Filling the pool of shared meaning:
We start this with a question, how does a dialogue or free flow of meaning lead to success? What can we do here? Answer is simple; we just need to develop a shared pool from different personal pools. A personal pool is defined as one’s own opinions, feelings, theories and experiences about the topic at hand. Basically a personal pool is based on subjectivity or individuality of a person. Our every opinion or idea filters from what we have in our mind such as attitudes, values and beliefs. Hence this personal pool not only keep us inform but also propels our every action.
When we enter in a crucial conversations we don’t share the same pool, we are on different pages. Our opinions differ. I believe one thing, you another so on. So here the skillful people in dialogue do their best to make it safe for everyone to add their meaning to the shared pool. Shared pool allows us to agree some aspects or ideas those serve a mutual purpose. It also helps us as individuals are exposed to more accurate and relevant information, they have better choices to make decision. So the larger the shared pool, the smarter the decisions because shared pool represents the I Q of a group. On the contrary, when people purposefully withhold meaning from one another and don’t share meanings into shared pool, as a result individually smart people can do collectively stupid things.
In fact the pool of shared meaning is the birthplace of synergy. When people feel comfortable to talk about things and meaning does flow freely they cannot only make better choices but also they can willingly act on whatever decisions they make. Conversely, when people are not involved or sit back quietly during crucial conversations then they are not committed to final decisions.
Sometimes we don’t know how to stay in dialogue. We choose violence as a tool to compel others to our point of view. We manipulate others, we pass sarcastic comments as verbal attacks and we often misused authority. These strategies are enough to foul any conversation. Hence here we have to learn new adequate skills those teach us how to stay in dialogue, how to stay focused on what you really want or how to start with heart?
Here we want to share a quote by Woody Allen:
“More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly”.