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Most certain thing about life is uncertainty. Tough times can pop-up in different disguise. It can be a financial crisis, nervous breakdown, failure in exams or interview, a serious health problem or may be death of a loved one. A wise person may believe that difficulties will always be there, to knock you down. So can you fight your way through? Are you mentally strong enough to cope?
Sibtain Mustafa serves as Clinical Psychologist at Willing ways Lahore. He has done Master’s in Clinical Psychology, from University of Karachi, Karachi.He has served as an internee at Anti Narcotics Force-ANF Rehabilitation Center, Karachi. During his internship he developed understanding of basic concepts in addiction. Furthermore he has worked as a trainee psychologist in Alleviate Addiction Suffering (AAS) Trust, Karachi.
Editor: Haroon Christy
For some people setbacks are permanent blocks in life. They drag the anchors of failures around while achieving goals seem impossible. Without sound mental strength, difficulties of life can push you to the side of self-pity and self-doubt. And combination of negative thoughts and feelings can cause any sane person to behave in self destructive manner. Along with life’s challenges, a mentally weak person may end up in catastrophe.
In contrast, for mentally strong people setbacks are not failures rather blessings in disguise, an opportunity to gain experience, to be wiser and thrive forward in life. They never let their failure define them. Failures are just the results, outcome that teaches us. Each mistake we make is an indication of trying to achieve something though we ought to never repeat them. Idea is to learn to your fullest potential and improve yourself.
Considering the above description of mentally strong people, how can a person achieve this level of toughness? Or such ability to stand firm in difficult times? Well! There is no hidden secret to it. Science has revealed many wonders. A short list of researched facts can easily help you attain this quality. Here are some factors to consider:
Tough minded people act realistically, they plan by setting realistic expectations and accept reality. By acceptance, it does not mean to agree with things you disagree or compromise your values. It means to identify your control and taking responsibility of your own actions rather wasting your energy and time on blame, comparison or finding justifications for thing you cannot control.
In the face of great difficulties in spite of being upset that your first attempt didn’t work, you can be mentally strong by being grateful forgetting chances to try new things or for opportunities to explore. Strong minded people have this ability to focus on silver lining even in worse situation. Like Stephen Hawking, they can keep themselves positive, keep moving forward and achieve marvels.
Researches have proven that people who talk to themselves positively are more likely to develop strong emotional control. It represents high level of emotional intelligence. Inner productive dialogue also leads to clarification and helps to avoid self-pity. A strong person would talk to him with respect and kind words.