Welcome to Tough love!
I am all out to help you if your family is in crisis. My heart and soul is with you if you are looking for proven solutions to keep your family healthy and safe in today's devastating culture.
There is nothing more painful or exhaustive than living with a destructive youngster under the same roof. This perpetual frustration brings people living in a golden triangle to their knees. The families who look perfect on the outside are often the ones in dire trouble on the inside. When your teenagers are set on destroying your peace of mind, you cherish the memories of a time when your children were kids and a source of pleasure. You were once the center of your children's world; but now they have written you off. You feel hurt; rather stunned, shunned, and victimized. The irony is that your children need more active parenting in their teens with an ever changing style of parenting to meet the needs of emerging adulthood.
Dr. Sadaqat Ali , a graduate from Dow Medical College, Karachi is a renowned professional in the field of addiction psychiatry. He has a background of getting trained at “HAZELDEN” and “Vital Smarts”, USA. Dr. Sadaqat Ali is the Project Director of Willing Ways (Pvt.) Limited and Sadaqat Clinic (pvt.) limited. He is a sought after speaker who promotes new scientific solutions for persistent and profound problems. Dr. Sadaqat’s name was included in the international Who’s Who directory of professionals which was the first ever distinction of any Pakistani doctor
Editor: Arman Ahmed
Crises starts when you relate to your teens in orthodox ways. You are doomed to fail because it is impossible to instill wisdom and values into someone who tunes out quickly. However, you can influence them, their behavior, and their choices with Tough love. One of the first steps is to know your own morals and values and let your children see them. You might have been at the receiving end of well-meaning suggestions about parenting. People usually look down at parents whose kids are juggling and screaming in neighborhoods, jumping to conclusions and offering advice in all kinds of should’s and shouldn'ts. You are feeling differently and can hardly relate to what they are saying? You don't have to judge yourself based on opinions of relatives or total strangers on how to live, and how to parent. There is nothing like perfect parenting, however tough love provides you win-win deals for both you and your teenagers. It empowers you through methods that have been tried and tested by millions of parents. I will let you know a little secret about how it happens. Keep reading.
Your morals and values are very private to you; I will just demonstrate how to adapt your actions to achieve acceptable outcomes. I will let you develop non abusive consequences based on your values to create a harmonious and cooperative family. Setting limits and expectations is the most loving thing you can do for your children, even if it causes them discomfort for a while. Taking a stand and holding fast, coupled with the revolutionary concept of getting help from other parents makes miracles. The tough love program simply offers a road map to your ideal home. It has been the most successful parenting program to date.
Tough love means support and an end to isolation. It does not mean that you throw your kids out on the street. It is a misunderstanding. Tough love avoids the blame game. It deals with the here and now, not the past. It is action oriented. Family members, relatives, friends and neighbors actively support one another to bring smoothness in parenting. This mutual, active parental support is what I can’t give to my patients, as a practitioners. While I have an important role to play in family health, I am not in the middle of parent-teenager warfare. When it comes to support, guidance and helping families in crisis to ensure a resolution, tough love provides me the missing link. Starting from children who talk back and refuse to clean up their rooms to children who are seriously acting out with drugs, sex, deliberate self-harm, crime, and running away. Actually these are manifestations on the same spectrum. Bad mouthing today can lead to addictive behaviors tomorrow. These behaviors should be dealt with proactively because you require a lot of time to gain support and take action. Don’t suffer in silence; it is dangerous. Families are lost and lives ruined by the lack of intervention. There are no good solutions in isolation. The Tough love program ends shame and isolation by giving you tools to succeed in a media-driven world that has produced teens with entitlement.