Goal Setting

As a solution to a problem, parents need to set some goals that are quantifiable, keeping the environment of the child in consideration in which he moves. As an example, you can start asking your child to say at least one word to a new person every day or getting part in a school play (Let the role assigned be a silence one) or ask your child to ask one question from a teacher (Parents can always help prepare their child with a question to be asked). To make this whole process result oriented the better idea would be to make a score board and each step should be celebrated either by making a smiley, star, or a child himself puts a sticker indicating the success of the task assigned.

Set a model example for your child

Children have a large tendency to learn by observing their parents and people around them. It is a duty of parents to check their own behaviors on regular basis. If parents are not social, does not take phone calls, avoid talking to strangers, all this adds up to the shyness of a child as they are closely observing you. In such a scenario parents first need to work on themselves. Start visiting a neighbour, taking phone calls, talking to some pleasant stranger while shopping, also start interacting with kids of your child age, be a part of their game which they are playing. It is fine if your child doesn’t want to play, at least you are setting a model for him. Sooner or later the child will join in by his own choice. So no need to force him. Keep on doing such interaction while increasing the length over a course of days and week.

Reward your child

Rewards can be a great motivator in changing the behaviour of a child. Whenever a child performs outgoing, praise him and appreciate him. Even the smallest step should be cherished. Celebrating the success is highly recommended, specifically when daily planned goals for an outgoing behaviour are met. Always tell your child about the reward that he can get if the expected behaviour is performed.

Free your child from perfectionism

Like many adults, children also try to be perfect. They usually set high standards and when unreachable they portray it as a failure. It is very important to help your child realize that he does not need to be perfect — its fine if he does not take first position in the class nor does he needs to get the gold medal in extra co-curricular activities. Parents need to help their child set realistic and achievable goals.

Help make the body language correct

According to a psychologist, Arthur Wassmer, shy kids send signals of being detached, withdrawn and distant and this can be corrected by observing the body language. Wassmer used one word to explain the body language signals that are highly recommended. SOFTEN stands for ‘Smile’, ‘Open posture’, ‘Forward lean’, ‘Touch’ as of a friendly type like handshake, ‘Eye contact’, and ‘Nod’. It is always a good idea to help your child correct any body language signals that are not healthy.

Let your kid struggle a bit

Parents need to let their kid struggle a bit in communicating with others and should not be over protected. Let them tell what they want at Mc Donald’s order counter or if someone asks name and age, parents should resist answering for him. No doubt at times it becomes difficult for parents to see their child struggle, but it’s better to let him struggle now rather it becomes worse in future.

Adopt triangulation

The world triangulation is taken from the word triangle which consists of three angles and the word tri means three. In the similar way three persons are involved in this type of conversation. For example you ask something from another kid and afterwards refer back to your child about what he thinks about whatever discussion is on the move.

In short, both parents and teachers play a very vital role in helping the child escape his shell and start living a normal life. Motivation is a very major factor that at every stage should be part of the process. According to Dr Carducci “The more novelty a kid experiences early on, the more comfortable he will be in variety of situations”


Previous | 1 | 2

Please write your comments here:-