One of the members suggested on the confronting that person.  Whereas the other member proposed a solution in regard to religion in which she acknowledged the irrationality and selfishness of the people and hence suggested to adhere to the concept of being a better person by forgiveness and letting go and also explained the importance of forgiveness in Islam and on the expectation of the reward should be only from God. The sufferer refuted this suggestion by claiming that it was not easy for him to forgive in a particular situation being discussed and hence expressed the state of helplessness in regard to the solution of the problem. Moreover the sufferer expressed his anxiety of confrontation and remained adamant on not confronting. To this one of the group member proposed that nothing in life is impossible hence forgiveness should be given a try. He elaborated on it by saying that one should forgive and hence make it a habit and expect a reward for that from Allah. His stance was a collaboration of one’s faith in destiny and fate and focused highly on relying on the reward for the acts of kindness and forgiveness from Allah than from the human beings. Moreover he added that lesser the expectation one keeps from people better the impact of it on the level of being upset or despondent. Therefore one should keep their expectations low so that one is exposed to lesser disappointments.

Another member added to this that the sufferer should exercise confrontation and covey his intolerance to that specific someone. This time the sufferer didn’t remain fully uptight by acknowledging his faith in God. After much brainstorming one of the group members recommended the sufferer to relax and take control of his emotions and reactions instead of disassociation. He explained this further by telling that one should not get affected by people’s behavior. It is one’s own behavior that one is responsible of not people’s behavior. On this another member added on the importance of priorities and empathy. He said that the sufferer should prioritize and put himself at the specific one who is annoying in his shoes to find solutions of this problem. Another member highlighted the importance of graceful acceptance and overcoming it with chivalry. On the other hand another member proposed tit for that, which means retaliating with the same aspect or thing that the sufferer is being tested with.

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It was also suggested that the sufferer should not let him lose the bond that he shares with that special someone because of whom he is distressed, therefore he should work towards the maintenance and sustenance of his relationship with that someone rather thinking of bursting out and breaking it. The sufferer should therefore do the graceful acceptance of his scenario. Another person contributed his suggestion by recommending temper and emotional management strategies for the effective solution to this problem of patience.  Moreover another member advocated on goal making strategies, systematic evaluation of the pros and cons of the problematic situation by pondering over the situation and beginning with the end in mind. Besides he also urged on the importance of delayed gratification and not jumping to conclusions.

Another member suggested on being courageous to face the situation. He explained it by reinforcing the fact that some people make their situations miserable by avoiding it and lying about it.  To this one of the member added that cognitive restructuring and stress management should be implied to overcome such problem.  After absorbing enormous suggestions the sufferer was advancing on changing his stance by acknowledging the importance of learning via social capital and good support system.

 Therefore the whole scenario of this situation demonstrates that when one is faced with an issue of such sort, people do not hesitate in extending their layman remedies towards the solution of the problem. The remedies that the layman offers to such common problems are not reliable and hence are not validated by researches.  As a clinical psychologist I would like to urge people to seek counseling from the experts and therefore avail their “expertise”. Since when people are faced with such issues they keep running over each other for counseling. In order to enhance the counseling seeking behavior, it is useful to talk to a professional. To combat issues of similar genre a structured program is needed, consisting of core and supporting programs so that the most effective outcomes can be achieved. For the clarification on structured counseling lets differentiate between the structured counseling and good looking lay man counseling proposed by people. Common counseling proposed by people makes use of logics and lectures. The question which stands in one’s mind is about the confusion as to what is getting in the way of effectiveness even in the situations where logics and lectures are being used. To name a few, it might be the lack of motivation or just peer pressure working against oneself.  Therefore if one is aiming for precise help, with the aid of tools and resources assisting an individual to change one needs a set of vital measureable strategy system known as structured counseling.  Referring back to this specific issue of intolerance of someone’s behavior or attitude, the core program of emotional intelligence with the supporting programs of assertiveness, crucial confrontation, crucial conversations and acceptance are the most effective ones. Therefore structured counseling and programs are highly reliable and valid for the most measurable outcomes in a specific time period.

 

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