You find that the harder you work on your relationship, the more you tend to get sore with hurt and frustration. Just like at the start of any workout, your body responds with aches, pains, tightness and even tension, especially if you haven’t worked out in a long time. Similarly, you will go through aches and pains in your relationship. But if these aspects are well-managed, you will emerge stronger and healthier than before.
Unhealthy relationships emerge when they stands on an uneven and unequal footing. Just like a stack of cards, any movement at the base will cause the cards to come tumbling down. Recognize the unhealthy signs and continue to work on your relationship until an amicable solution is found.No one can list all the potential things that can screw up the course of true love, but we can give you a heads up on the most likely causes of coupledom death with these relationship killers.
Lack of Communication:
Arguably, the chief reason for a breakdown in many relationships is the lack of proper communication. You are either yelling at each other or giving your partner the cold, silent treatment. Both are not effective in building trust and maintaining respect in a relationship. A bond is strengthened when a couple feels comfortable expressing their needs, fears and desires without judgment. Some couples get stuck in a state of peaceful coexistence without being able to truly relate to each other. While it may seem stable on the surface, the absence of effective communication drives a wedge into the relationship, creating distance.
Often, being part of a couple can put you in a “bubble” that closes you off from the rest of the world, giving you an us-against-them mentality. However, when the real world comes crashing into your little bubble, things can go really wrong. Issues like money problems, children from previous relationships, and issues carried over from past relationships, are possible relationship killers that might place strain on you. Even little domestic issues (one person refusing to clean or cook) can chip away at your coupledom.
Maintaining the right balance between dependence and independence is tricky. Too much of one and people feel smothered. If a couple gets to the point where they have nothing in their life apart from each other, they need to back away a little. Otherwise, one partner will feel the need for space and resent the other for taking their freedom away.Conversely, if too much independence is asserted, the other person starts to feel lonely. If one partner has an all-absorbing job or interest with nothing but the minimum of time for their partner, things are equally bad. While space and time apart from each other is needed, too much is as bad as smothering — both end with someone looking elsewhere.
Mistrust is the ultimate relationship killer, and one that the majority of couples won’t survive. The initial betrayal of finding out that a partner has cheated is often enough to leave a couple stone-cold dead while the bed sheets are still warm.And even if a couple does try to work past the cheating, the future doesn’t look good for them. By now, all the trust in the relationship has been blown.
Expecting a woman to think like a man; wanting a man to think like a woman :
Women talk, guys look. Women smile, guys swagger. Stereotypes and facts abound in equal parts in the world of dating, but the bottom line is that it’s not just anatomy that separates the men and the ladies. You can’t make one gender be like the other. Simply enough – the person you’re dating isn’t you. Don’t ever forget it.
Relationship mistakes: Thinking he’s going to want to talk, talk, talk. Assuming that she doesn’t need to talk. Thinking he’s going to always appreciate your instinct to nurture. Assuming she’s going to understand your need for space.
We already know you can’t like everyone all the time. Well, sometimes this counts for your partner too. Everything about his/her might be great, but if he/she has a few annoying habits, be careful. Stupid and trivial as these annoying habits might be — like talking in his/her sleep, leaving the cap off the toothpaste and wearing too much makeup — they can be relationship killers and wreck a couple.Over time, these habits become magnified until you’re angry with her more often than not, and you’ve talked yourself out of a relationship.
Insecurity strikes the most attractive, with-it people, like a sudden case of influenza. It’s sudden and violent and once you’re in its grips you can be a goner. Insecurity is actually the umbrella of all the relationship mistakes listed above. It can turn you into a stalker, nitpicker, second-guesser, needy, pie-in-the-sky dater. Insecurity is the relentless voice in your head that tells you every action of another person means something about your worth and lovability.
Relationship mistakes: Requiring constant reassurance, validation, and confirmation that the other person is into you. Telling yourself you need to change how you look before you can seriously commit to someone.
It’s a couple, not a gang:
Many people make the mistake of letting other people into their relationship. Whether it’s letting Mom give her two cents on what kind of guy/girl you married or letting your friends talk smack about your partner, it is incredibly unhealthy. You are a couple. If you are weak enough to require that other’s tell you how you feel about someone, then you should not be married. Marriage is for independent people who can make up their own minds. All others need not apply.