As a culture we seem to be gaining more and more awareness of the benefits of “self care” as a crucial ingredient for peace of mind and wholesome living. In successful romantic relationships this is especially important. In successful romantic relationships self care is more than an ideal, it is a must.

Each partner in a romance need to be taking individual care of their respective physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. The term “self-care” is widely used to refer to activities, practices and attitudes that are engaged in on a regular basis to maintain and enhance a person’s health and emotional well-being. This is the same sense in which we use it here.

 John and Elaine Leadem John and Elaine Leadem are licensed clinical social workers whose combined investment in the field of addiction treatment spans more than sixty years. Their commitment to helping recovering families has provided the core inspiration for the development of a "A Decision to Be IN Love"© which has helped many couples move from the traditional parallel model of recovery to strong united core support group.

Editor:  Saad Shaheed

The activities of self-care cover a broad spectrum of behaviors ranging from activities for daily living like eating, bathing and grooming to a myriad of strategies for improving everything from personal health and nutrition to enhancing spiritual well-being.

In order to construct a self-care plan plan that promotes both personal and romantic health both you and your partner will need to assume personal responsibility for the quality of your individual lives. Taking responsibility for the quality of your own life means challenging the urge to avoid, or to run from, problems and conflicts that develop. Simple but not easy, as they say.

There are two major challenges involved in taking responsibility for our emotional wellbeing:

  1. First, we must stop blaming other people, circumstances and events for our own happiness.
  2. Second, and perhaps deserving of the number one position, we must face conflicts in a timely fashion and avoid running unless our lives are in danger.

These two challenges are sure to keep us from looking at our own lives and assessing how well we are maintaining our personal emotional, physical, and spiritual wellbeing. It is so easy to play the Blame Game and shirk responsibility, but we are not helpless.

Every person can take responsibility for addressing their own discomfort and making decisions about the quality of their romance. Self Care is an essential building block for a couple’s decision to be “IN Love.” Neglecting to take responsibility for the quality of our own life will inevitably get in the way of that love.

As we said, this may sound simple but we are well aware that this is not easy. For many of us this means a complete change of how we address our relationship conflict and emotional wellbeing. We would love to hear from you, our readers, about some of your experiences with self care and with taking responsibility for the quality of your own life. 

” In this couples guide, users are walked through precisely how to implement these tools in any relationship. Love.Awakening to Your Soulmate: A Decision to be IN. To learn more about practically utilizing these essential building blocks in your own relationship, we invite you to the source of this material which can be found in its complete form in our recently published book for couples titled “the 4 Essential Building Blocks to Being IN LoveThis article was written by John & Elaine Leadem, senior supervisors of the Leadem Counseling & Consulting offices in Toms River, NJ and East Brunswick, NJ. It is the fourth in a series of blogs in which they present and describe with more detail 


Courtesy: PsychCentral

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