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If you feel that you are being a captive of your own negative image of yourself then then you should start with these four basic steps to improve your self-esteem:
Low self-esteem affects every aspect of one’s life adversely. The directives for a healthy self-esteem come from mental health professionals. These directives boast self-confidence &,improverelationships as per cognitive behavior therapy. They are the following:
Identification of problematic situations
Think of places &, situations from your personal life which affect your self-esteem adversely. They can easily include:
- Challenge of working next to someone more confident and, acceptable than you
- Crisis in handling relationship problems at home or, at office or in personal relationships.
- Poor body image due to challenge in weight management
- Moving forward with great losses or, wrong decisions made in life
Read your thoughts from someone else’s view
After identification has been made of situations, positions &, places which challenge your self-esteem, the next step is to take a conscious read on your thoughts-self talk. The analysis can either be from the three mentioned below:
- Facts (Rational)
The self-talk of the above can be positive, negative or, neutral. As it can be based on reality and, facts, similarly, it can also be based on irrational ideas which are away from reality.
Take the bull by the horns
After consistent observation become sure of what way your mind thinks. Once you are sure of your own incorrect view of situations &, dealings in the public &, private sphere of your life, then you take on the challenge of changing your world view dynamically.
A regularity or self check is necessary where our own biases or, long held false beliefs can cloud our view of reality as they appear more normal and, factual to us.
There are few Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs) which have a very pervasive effect on our self-esteem. They are also known as thinking errors and, are as following:
- All or nothing thinking: You color the situation in your mind as black &, white i.e. either negative or, positive and, you fail to bring the picture into a whole of both. This situation leads to depression in cases as it includes thinking in absolute terms.
Example: “If I am unable to perform a single task in time, I will never be able to reach the pinnacle of time management.”
- Negative Mental filtering: The selective evaluation of a situation with negative elements.[i]
Example: “I have stuttered during a presentation. Now everyone will know I am less confident public speaker.”
- Jumping to conclusions: It includes assumptions and, jumping to negative conclusions by rejecting your positive achievements and, highlighting your negative experience.”
Example: “My sister didn’t respond to me over my call so she must be ignoring me.”
- Negative Self Talk: You downplay on your self worth and, deem yourself to be less based on for example making a mistake previously.
Example: “I am at this treatment centre because I have made a fool of myself by making mistakes.”