I used to think that I didn’t have permission to wear certain clothes (I wasn’t thin enough).
I didn’t have permission to be OK with my body, either (again, because I wasn’t thin enough).
Or permission to eat certain foods. Or to enjoy life until I lost a few, or 10 pounds.
Permission to be OK with myself overall. Permission for my messes, my inexperience, my mistakes.
Margarita Tartakovsky is an associate editor at PsychCentral.com, an award-winning mental health website, and the voice behind Weightless, a blog that helps women deal with body image issues and disordered eating. She also writes a monthly feature for Beliefnet.com, covering topics such as patience and procrastination.
Editor: Saad Shaheed
Then I realized that these assumptions were ridiculous (hurtful, self-sabotaging, untrue). Of course, I did and do.
So if you, too, need permission, not just about your body, but maybe something else, here it is.
Recently, Susannah created this powerful permission slip for social media. These are my favorites:
You are allowed to unfollow the people who make you feel bad, the ones who curate their lives like interior design magazines,WHOSE DAY NEVER SEEMS TO BE FILLED WITH THE DIRTY DISHES OF YOUR REALITY.
You are allowed to unsubscribe from the emails that clutter your inbox. TO IGNORE THE TELESEMINARS AND FREE TRAININGS AND VIDEO SECRETS AND OFFERINGS THAT NEVER SEEM TO TEACH YOU ANYTHING NEW.
YOU ARE ALLOWED TO BOYCOTT THE BLOGS THAT TRIGGER THE SHIT OUT OF YOU. YOU KNOW THE ONES.
Here’s your permission slip for your body, yourself and really your life:
You are allowed to wear a bikini at the beach.
You are allowed to move your body in any way you like. Maybe that means going to the gym or walking in your neighborhood or dancing in your home.
You are allowed to have a second piece of chocolate or a burger or a slice of pizza or a salad, whether you are small, smaller, big, bigger or anything in between.
You are allowed to cancel subscriptions to the magazines that bring you down.
You are allowed to stop hanging out with the people that do the same.
You are allowed to avoid articles about diets.
You are allowed to ignore triggering shows like “The Biggest Loser.”
You are allowed to stand up for yourself and demand respect. At any size.
You are allowed to feel sexy and pretty and empowered and amazing, exactly as you are.
You are allowed to think of yourself, and make yourself a priority.
You are allowed to eat past 7 o’clock and disregard every other diet rule.
You are allowed to build strong boundaries with other people. Everyone deserves healthy, loving relationships. Your weight or jean size doesn’t determine whether you’re deserving. You are. You are.
You are allowed to feel your feelings.
You are allowed to stop working out when you’re tired.
You are allowed to smile at yourself in the mirror.
You are allowed to take a day off, really off, and just relax.
You are allowed to think you’re hot.
You are allowed to take a compliment.
You are allowed to sleep in.
You are allowed to eat when you’re hungry, and when you’re not.
You are allowed not to have it all done.
You are allowed to laugh and to cry. Maybe even at the same time.
You are allowed to make mistakes and forgive yourself for making them.
You are allowed to be kind to yourself like you would be to a best friend, partner, your child.
You are allowed to get lost, and find yourself. And get lost and find yourself.