Written by:
Hira Shahid

What happens when you come back after an obnoxious first date? How hard does it get on to your nerves?  A number of reasons encapsulate this dilemma.  May be the one who showed up was looking the opposite of what was presented to you in photographs & you were head over heels focused upon the fantasy picture.  It could also be that he/she was still not over the fact that their ex was capable of leaving a scar.  There is also a possibility that he/she blithered arrogantly about how the Ivy League University has made them a unique human being.


Hira Shahid is working as a Clinical Psychologist in Willing Ways, Lahore since April 2017. She has done B.A Honors in English Literature with a minor in Psychology from Kinnaird College, Lahore. She did M.Sc in Clinical and Counseling Psychology from Beaconhouse National University, Lahore. She has done MS in Clinical and Counseling Psychology, Lahore.

Editor:  Haroon Christy


Regardless of how bad these experiences may be, you probably always maintained a positive social front by being all communal, well-bred and respectful.  Though the real you wanted to squeeze the life out of that King/Queen of relationships as you could hear your thoughts while interacting and smiling forcefully.  In the end all you had to do was say thank you for their precious time and you would have gotten your ticket to freedom or you could have told them they weren’t worth spending a minute more as it hurt you psychologically to be around them.  This way you can go to bed with a clearer conscious as you maintained a social front that didn’t let your evil side dominate the good side.  Then why, some people hurt others if they don’t want to?

Researchers at Lancaster University in the United Kingdom are in process of building a machine based on the skill behind the Voight-Kampff machine, an imaginary questioning device from the sci-fi flick “Blade Runner” that measures the physiological changes in skin, heart rate, and pupil dilation to establish if there are strong feelings of affection and authenticity at first sight or the work of resonance.  In conclusion, this piece of equipment can tell if someone is attracted towards you.  Hence, we can call this dream machine an emotion detector though it may expose the inhospitable, frigid and ugly veracity about how someone feels about you.  The device is handy as its upgraded version is slim and trim so that it is carried easily and can connect to your mobile phone wherever you want it to.

In theoretical connotation, it feels kind of in control to check if someone likes you or not but does it feel the same way in reality?  Imagining a scenario might make things easier; you’ve invested time in getting smartening up for a date and looking forward for a heart to heart with this imagined prince of whales.  Then your date arrives and greets you with the warmest smile you’ve seen a person wearing but your emotion detector warns you that he is faking.

How would you react to this? Would this strangle your ego? There might be a number of ways in which your body and mind connection will guide you to react; your personality traits and defense mechanisms will also play a big part.  Will you go defensive? Self dialogues “OMG! He is not that good looking either” or will it lower down your self-esteem and make you overcritical about yourself “Am I that unattractive?….Sigh”.  We all are fans of the great classical love stories, how Romeo enchanted Juliet, how Shakespeare wrote sonnets about the great experiences of love etc but in the end, the fragile self of yours makes you a pessimist about the whole scenario and even if you try to count on the positives, your mind works out on logics to prevent you from becoming an optimist in that moment.

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