It is important for parents to gradually help the patient if he wants to get rid of drugs and if he is not interested in treatment than parents should any stands and stay firm on that. A stand is a long term goal you want to reach one that will take some time to accomplish.
For example:  You should build a stand that if your child doesn’t show any interest in treatment then you

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should:

  • He / she are not allowed to use car because due to drugs in take it is not adequate to drive a car. Giving transport facility to the person who doesn’t work will be like giving help in addiction.
  • He / she are not allowed to use air condition as the cold air gives a sense of pleasure. Also the one who doesn’t come home tired instead he comes home in full swing of drugs doesn’t deserve these facilities.
  • He / she should not be allowed to have untimely food but he should have food with the family only.
  • He / she will not be allowed to wear or buy expensive clothes. If he is going to burn his clothes with the burning ash of a cigarette than ordinary clothes are enough for him.
  • He / she will be participating a little in family, business and domestic issues or else more facilities will be dismissed.
  • Will not be allowed to use telephone or mobile and his/her friends will not be allowed to visit him/her.
  • Will return home by 9 pm or else he will not permitted to enter home after the assigned time.

STANDS
RED STANDS
Red Stands are those stands which are very important for parents but are difficult to talk about it or to implement it.
For Example: Asking their child to quit drugs, excessive and unnecessary use of spending money, coming back home in time at night, stopping them to meet their addictive friends etc.
A child creates extreme crisis while talking about these stands because it is very difficult for them to accept what their parents are saying.
YELLOW STANDS
Yellow stands are those stands which have less importance than red stands. These are secondary level stands that are difficult for children to accept but the crisis resulted in the consequences of these stands are not of extreme level.
For Example: Asking children to have food on time, to assign them minor responsibilities like doing grocery, dropping children at school etc.
GREEN STANDS
Green stands are of very light level. These are extremely easy stands which children surely accept. For example inviting friends at dinner or asking them to watch any TV program, and asking them to get a glass of water etc.

If you know that your patient will give extreme reaction on Red and yellow stands than you should go for green stands with them. Accepting green stands more and more, patient’s attitude towards accepting different things tend to increase. Since they are of ordinary level that’s why children accept them readily and then these stands eventually become part of their character, attitude and different affairs. If you continuously take ten green stands and your child accept them then you became able to implement yellow stands. And when you take ten yellow stands, you became able to take one red stand with the corporation of others.

After taking a Stand, you can think through the steps necessary to support the Stand and carry it out. But that is simply an exercise in futility if you take Stands that have holes in them, reflecting the mixed feelings you have. Do not send mixed messages to your children. You need to know what you really think and feel about the behaviors before you can take effective Stands to change them. You need to understand your feelings and motivations behind why you did not take these Stands before the behavior reached crisis proportion and why you have difficulty carrying out and maintaining your boundaries.

Maryam Shah
Psychologist
Willing Ways, Islamabad

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