promises

What is a promise and should you keep them? Well if you do then it’s a very high chance that you are doing the right thing, but if not then you need to rethink what you are doing. Promise is to assure somebody that something will certainly happen or be done. A promise can also be to oneself regarding anything. If you are the type of person who does not keep their promises then you are also not true to yourself.

asim jalalVery few people realize, or wish to accept, that one of the worst experiences in life to an individual is a broken promise. We all have moments when we make a promise to someone and cannot keep it, for a variety of reasons. That is understandable. However, when there is a definite pattern in breaking promises it suggests three things:

1. That the person to whom the promise is made is not really a priority in the scheme of things; not as valued as others.

2. That the person making the promise is trying to please too many people at once, perhaps to impress, but failing miserably.

3. That the promise itself is not perceived as important enough to be kept.

Promises mean a lot to people because they suggest appreciation, value and empathy and carry some pleasure in fulfillment. The effect of broken promises is resentment, undue anxiety, missed opportunities and a lack of trust in future promises for one party, and a chain of guilt and feelings of incapacity and inadequacy for the other. Also, a promise prevents alternative action being taken which means everyone loses out all round.

Broken promises also give a feeling of false competence; they keep the person stuck in a mode of regret and are rarely associated with success. The most successful people tend to value others and keep their word because it demonstrates integrity – a key attribute for achievement. Finally, if not handled sensitively, broken promises can cause ill feeling, damage friendships and even lose business.

Sometimes the habits we develop over a lifetime can be very limiting both in their effect on us and on others. Most people don't mind a broken promise. We all do it at times through the pressure of living. But if it becomes a pattern then it becomes part of our personality and is a pointer to how we treat others for our own feeling of power. It really does not suggest enough respect for the person on the receiving end and would also be irritating to them to some measure.

Some Tips for Keeping Promises

First, if you find yourself prone to breaking promises, ask yourself why and try to limit your promises in any one day. It means you will only do it when you feel genuine, you will have more chance of carrying it out, especially if you are not committed to too many people, and it will be appreciated even more. If you have no intention of calling someone, or doing something for them, DON'T promise it. They won't be anxiously waiting and you won't have any guilt. It might boost your fragile ego and esteem to keep people dangling, but it only upsets everyone in the end.

Second, the best kind of friendship and approach is doing a job or favor when you FEEL like it, and not if you feel obliged. Nothing should feel forced or pressured. Third, have a look at the three reasons above for not keeping your promises and try to remedy whichever one applies to you. If you are breaking your promises repeatedly to one person, chances are you are probably doing the same to others. It not only leaves some unhappy people in its wake but it merely destroys your credibility in the process. We are all very busy people but the main thing to bear in mind is that, with time being very limited, nothing is more important than our interaction with another human being.

Just think that if you promised a dear friend or relative to call them and you didn't do it, and then he/she died the next day, you would never forget that for the rest of your life! So always try to keep a promise or don't make one at all.

Desire for Approval

It is our desire for approval why we make promises to too many people and then end up not keeping any, which then makes us feel worse and loses us our friends. If you value someone's friendship, or truly respect them, or you value your customers, don't make promises you can't keep because it could have an impact on them that even you are unable to foresee.

Not keeping promises has a lot to do with the type of person you are, it’s not about promising someone but also about keeping promises with yourself and if you tend to break promises then you are also not true with yourself and really need to work on it. Not being true to yourself is the worst that you do to yourself and its constant disappointments as you never fulfill a commitment or tend to be taken maturely and responsibly as an independent person if you have a problem of keeping promises and then not being able to fulfill them and staying in regret.

When you are unable to keep a promise with yourself or other in that matter and tend to break them then it shows that you don’t care about them or yourself and need to see that this would make you lose your trust and credibility in front of others and in turn you would feel the guilt which will eventually turn into shame as you would have promised so much and broken those promises that everything in your character would go down credibility, trust and the belief of people in you that you would get the job done. Your reputation will get tarnished just for the mere fact that you make too many promises and then tend to break them. So it’s now the time to decide that how this problem should be fixed, tips I have mentioned above can also be used as well as new ones but the start is to stop promising for this instant.

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