Marium sat at her kitchen table with her head in her hands. At her feet were broken pieces of glass that had been broken after another bout of arguments with her eighteen-year-old. Fatima had threatened to cut her wrist one more time today.
Today Marium tried to ask her husband for help, but soon she started shouting at him. He left the house in anger. She broke the crockery in frustration. He had called her crazy, which was exactly how she had felt. But his words had stung, "If you had just disciplined her more, she wouldn't behave like this.”
A ring tone broke the deadly silence. It was Marium’s neighbor Sobia calling to ask if she can go to Liberty Market with her. If she had not been feeling so desperate, Marium would have clearly hidden behind her "everything is fine, alhamdolilla" voice. Marium thought Sobia was the perfect mom.
Dr. Sadaqat Ali , a graduate from Dow Medical College, Karachi is a renowned professional in the field of addiction psychiatry. He has a background of getting trained at “HAZELDEN” and “Vital Smarts”, USA. Dr. Sadaqat Ali is the Project Director of Willing Ways (Pvt.) Limited and Sadaqat Clinic (pvt.) limited. He is a sought after speaker who promotes new scientific solutions for persistent and profound problems. Dr. Sadaqat’s name was included in the international Who’s Who directory of professionals which was the first ever distinction of any Pakistani doctor.
Editor: Arman Ahmed
Marium took a deep breath and tried to clear her throat, but Sobia recognized the pain and asked, "Did I call you at a bad time? If I can be of any help, I am available."
Marium knew that her attempt to sound OK had failed; something inside of her let go. "No morning is a good morning here. There is a big hassle with Fatima, every day. Today I found Marijuana in her pant pocket and I just could not control myself," Marium admitted as she walked angrily around the kitchen, cracking broken pieces of glass beneath her shoes. It struck Marium that it was very strange for her to share this problem. She had known Sobia only recently. "I just don't know what to do with her?"
"Tough love," Sobia says.
"You are suggesting that I need to be cruel and harsh with Fatima?"
"Not at all; that's not tough love. Toughlove is about setting limits, taking stands, and creating mutual support with other families who can help. I found toughlove and it has given me my life back. Toughlove saved our family."
Every generation has been challenged by the problems that teenagers present. However parenting is a nightmare due to the deviant behavior of teens. It’s hard for parents to undo the visible and invisible influences that alienate teens.
Our media driven world is filled with terrorism, violence, sex, drug addiction, and a general lack of respectful behavior. Broadcasters feel justified in televising these stories as they are trapped in the race of ratings. As a result of portraying glorified violent images without showing the consequence, the value of life has been quashed. Some parents think, "How can I keep my kids busy?" instead of, "What are the values that I need to teach my children?"