In our lives we have to make many of the small and big decisions that matters a lot in the productivity of our lives and signifies our functionality. But many a times we get stuck in making the decisions where the two options are not desirable or likable. In such situations we are bound to go for one of them but not satisfied. Either we have one option or the other. Like for example either we have to live in the present but unwanted circumstances or have to accept them. But we don’t even bother to think about that there can be a third alternative, which can be more suitable and desirable, and this can be; change the situation by working on it or on our own self.

asma11Ms. Asma Qureshi is working with Willing Ways as a Clinical Psychologist.  She has done Masters in Applied Psychology from the University of  Punjab in 2006.After this, she did six months internship at Psychiatry ward of Sir Ganga Ram Hospital, Lahore. She did her Post Magisterial Diploma in Clinical Psychology (PMDCP) from the Institute of Clinical  psychology, University of Karachi in 2009.

Editor:  Ms. Shumaila Batool

When we face this difficulty and toggle between two bad choices we are having we are actually going through the dilemma choices. At times we tend to go for the option that leads to comparatively less likable results but still unwanted, this further leads to dis-satisfaction with one own self and effects the self esteem too. Swinging between two bad choices is called OR thinking. What we need to do is to develop “And” thinking. In order to be comfortable with our decisions we need to have more than two choices and get out of the rut of “OR” thinking. This can be explained that “how can I accept the situation and make necessary changes?”


A well thought decision requires number of choices and options to work upon. As we all know that decisiveness is the higher order brain function. It consumes many of mental muscles and energies and after doing so, if still we are not satisfied with the final decision than we really need to bring this into account that whether we had many options or we just got fixated to one or maximum two.

Our all decisions predict the quality of our life, our knowledge, perceptions, choices and wisdom to inculcate the knowledge into actions. The decisions which are made on all the possibly gathered facts are considered to be the excellent ones. This also promotes the greater self esteem and courage to make more decisions of life and letting us free from the pains of dilemma of making wrong decisions.

There is a group of people whose thinking is based on dogmatism; means their thinking patterns are rigid and stubborn in nature. Their minds do not welcome the new and various facts on the basis of which they can make best of the best decisions and enhance the quality of their lives. They love to live in a rut and lead quite fixated lives. It is difficulty to find out anything new in their lives. They rely on conventional thinking much, make the judgment of the life circumstances on the basis of old and persistent perceptions, and repeat their similar actions in different situation regardless of the differentness of the situation.