Codependency is a bunch of behaviours that promote us to develop unhealthy relationships. But on the other hand caretaking is the most acceptable behaviour that can provide assistance to caregiving behaviour. The happier and strong your relationship the more you feel satisfied towards your life and goals and the caregiving attitude will make you effective caretaker.
Codependence and the influence of detachment
How to maintain limits and make life your own
Conventional belief is that we can never love anything too much, because there is some limits that a person cannot exceed its limits. Although relationships have many disappointment factors and conflicts, we harm ourselves and our loved ones just because the reason that we don’t control our emotions, temperaments and the disaster of broken lines enters in life in a form of unhealthy relationships.
Miss Rabia Zaidi is working as a Clinical Psychologist in Willing Ways Karachi. She has graduated from highly reputed College D.A Degree College for Women (DHA) in 2011, after completing a Bachelor of Arts degree in Library & Information Science, Education and Urdu Advance with First Division and a Master’s Degree in Psychology. She is interested in Educational Activities and attended many seminars.
Editor: Wakeel Murad
These two elements “to give” and “to take” describe the opposite actions and meanings of caretakers and caregivers “people who provide care, time, love and affection, to the one who is in need”. Caretaker has been in the language since the mid-1800s, one who takes care of a thing, place, or a person.
Caregiver is a term that has been entered in American English in the 1960s and migrated to British English in the 1970s. A person is typically either a professional or significant others who looks after a disabled or elderly person. It may also refer to a parent, foster-parent or social services professional who gives care for an infant or child. In British English the term is recognized by carer.
According to an assumption from the National Alliance for Caregiving, previously 65.7 Million Americans (29% of the U.S. adult population involving around 31% of all U.S. housholds) served as a family members for ill and physically challenged people.
Parental love is expected to be unconditional and it gives a child warmth, affection, pleasure to life and a sense of security. As children grow, good parenting includes: mutual respect for each other, love, care, taking care of rules and regulations and liberty to express many things with a reflection of mannerism, discipline under the assistance of nurturing, modification and grooming.
Caregiving is a normal outgrowth of love, worth, dignity, actualization and it is also a part of healthy relationships. When someone we love is in need of support either for time or finance we naturally want to help at any cost. Yet there is a big difference between “caregiving” and codependent “caretaking”. In the upcoming situation, we might not look after our ownself for the importance of somebody else in this manner, that is intrusive or by enabling the loved one, it is very destructive in this scenario we do harm the other person and risk sacrificing our own lives in the process; for instance: parents and other family members mostly suffer in this regard.
With codependent caretaking pattern, often there is more “taking” than giving. The caretaker’s aim can subtlety take precedence. This is because caregiving comes from excessive, and caretaking comes from need. Caretaking can increasingly so frequent that it enables and handicaps the recipient, so that he/she doesn’t take any initiative or responsibility for behavior and needs. It treats a person just like a child who doesn’t want to grow up and doesn’t want to reinforces his/her confidence, self-esteem, life, and other necessary needs that are important in life, but due to lack of boundaries, caretaking behavioural patterns eventually negatively impacts the relationship and damage the personality as a whole..