The question is not whether change or not. Change is part of all journeys. The questions whether the processes of change can be harnessed and mobilized to work for you rather than against you. Working with, rather than against, the inevitable process of change is easier if we know more about the way the minds works.
The mind as well as the body grows older daily. Sweeping us along in the path of an inevitable process of change. There is some order in this change. As the dependence of childhood decreases, the turbulence of adolescence takes its place. Together with ever increasing need competence and independence, there comes the need to define an identity and to find one’s way in the world. The middle years are often described as if they were static, as if once we had settled on a certain pattern of occupation and family. But knowing more about who we are and what we can do does not stop the process of change.
At times, we will feel on top of the world; at other times, out of our depth. One day we may reach a peak and the next plunge into slough of despond. We may know that every cloud has a silver lining, and be able to look optimistically ahead. The language we use to describe life is patterns and changes show how naturally we think in terms of a journey though different terrains subject to varying climates.
The external world that provides the specific context for each of our lives is also constantly changing. We may act a part in influencing some of these changes, but many are beyond our control. We can all too easily come to think we are powerless. This is a mistake; changing our reactions to external events is one of the most effective ways we can change our experience of life.
Different people respond differently to pressures for change. Here are five styles you might recognize elements of yourself in one or more of these. It illustrates two points. First, most people learn to cope with change by developing a particular style of response. Second, each style has both advantages and demerits.
The Prudent: –
The prudent is the seeker after knowledge: the person who reads all about the more options they have.
The Traveler: –
They extend the journey and behave as if there is a purpose in the journey. They assume that because they are constantly on the move, they must be going somewhere, as if perfection or nirvana. They continue to Search for inner peace.
The Drifter: –
Drifters retire from center stage, give up struggle, and allow themselves to be carried wherever the current takes them. They are simply goers with the flow type.
The Denialers: –
They resemble the characteristics of ostrich like hide their head in the sand and also have powerful kick to resist the change.
The Synergers: –
They work at harnessing the action of many different musicians, who if left to then own devices would produce cacophony. They know what they to want achieve and provide the leadership that makes the difference by working with different groups.
Each of above styles shows a different cognitive style that people may adopt in the face of change. There is no one method that suits every person in every circumstance. We all tend to develop habitual ways of dealing with change.
No one way of dealing with change will fit all circumstances or all people. Here are some conditions for powerful and fruitful change.
Understand the present: –
Choices about change can only be made in the present. The first condition for fruitful change is that you see clearly where you are at the moment. Do not hide away from present reality. The potential for changing the future can lie only in the present.
Do not be victims of past: –
The second condition for fruitful change is to step lightly from the past. The past is an information bank from which we can learn. Do not make it a web in which you are caught. “I wish I had not said that” It is understandable to feel embraces by the mistakes and shortcomings of yesterday, but it is a mistake to allow the past to become a prison.
Accept that “future is uncertain”:-
The third condition for fruitful change is to accept the uncertainty of the future. We cannot foresee the future: much is outside our control and the unexpected is a continual possibility. An attitude of openness and confidence is needed for the future as well as the past.
After reading above lines you may be thinking that you want to make so many changes, you do not know where to begin. Do not try to do too much all at once. Dead which change to make first lighting one candle is enough for start.