“It is impossible to overlook the extent to which civilization is built upon a renunciation of instinct,” Sigmund Freud said.

When I Googled out the meaning of etiquette I came across the following definition “The customary code of polite behaviour in society or among members of a particular profession or group”.  Interestingly Etiquette is taken as a term associated to the top notch members of the society only. This article will particularly focus on some very basic etiquettes that though are basic but somehow we miss its application in our lives.

The word Etiquette is of French origin and is derived from French word estiqu that means to attach or to stick. The concept of etiquette is very closely linked to consideration, kindness, style, elegance and decorum. Before you start working on your etiquettes, ask yourself what is the best possible manner of doing it? A very common myth attached to etiquettes involves putting yourself down. Well that is totally wrong. Yes, it does involves putting other first but not at the cost putting yourself down. Etiquette is actually that gracious feeling that comes out of realization and benevolence. One important point not to be missed here is that etiquettes vary from culture to culture and should be followed accordingly as defined by a famous saying when in Rome, do as the Romans do.


haroon christyHaroon Christy Munir is the Director of Sadaqat Clinic Lahore and also working as Counselor at Willing Ways (pvt) Ltd. He has done Masters in Business Administration from Quaid-e-Azam University Islamabad and afterwards M.Sc Management from Leeds business School, United Kingdom. He is well known for counseling on assertiveness, life strategies, personality development of patients and family therapy. He has positive approach and attitude towards life and is skilled in personal development planning, time management and prioritization.

Editor: Saad Shaheed


Etiquettes have a very close link with culture and thus become a source of code of conduct leading further to developing the basic pattern of social interaction. Difference between etiquette and manner lies in, etiquette being more related to what is socially appropriate and is grounded socially where as manners come under the head of being more generalized. So getting to know about the psychology of etiquette it adds in analyzing social customs and behavioral codes that have developed from collective consciousness. So summing it up in short, etiquette is reliant on customs and the culture of the state and collective consciousness of people.

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Culture and custom is directly linked to Suitability of the etiquette where as collective consciousness of people is a storehouse of past experiences and emotions. This specifically includes the experiences of ancestors/people who have been part of society and the experiences are carried on in the same manner reaching to present generation. The collective consciousness combines in shared past, shared time, shared history, shared emotion and the very important sense of shared responsibility.