There comes a time in every parent's life when they put their hands up and say “Oh God! i just can’t get through to this kid”, “We weren’t so difficult as kids when we were younger”.

“What am i doing wrong?” or we whisper the rather solemn and private wish “Please let me a better parent than my own parents were!”. In truth all parents are in need of a little guidance from time to time since kids don’t come with their own instruction manuals.  That’s what this article is all about. it focuses on the age group of children that is also known as teens (10 to 12). Let’s take a look at the Dos of parenthood.

The Dos of parenthood:

Create a family mealtime meeting at least once a week. Let this be in addition to all times of normal contact with your kids.  Although the kids may initially resist it, especially if you’ve been absent from their lives, as time will progress they will come to appreciate it. and so will you.

Keep in touch with your children’s  teachers, Although you shouldn't be opting to take control of every aspect of the child's life do let them know that you meet their teachers regularly. This will keep the teacher’s interested too.

Let them make certain choices over controlling parents often think that they are doing a favor by choosing every behavior and every action for the child.  Keep in mind that this is tantamount to giving your perfectly healthy child a pair of crutches. Start letting go of this need by giving them choices in food, rewards etc. and respecting their decision no matter how absurd it seems to you.

Know their friends No need to apply for the post of 007 but its helpful to know which children your kids are hanging around with. invite them over, invite their parents over and socialize. This will end up helping all of you.

Talk the hard talk  In Pakistan it’s generally considered taboo to talk about things like sex, drugs etc but in today’s ever changing stressful time it’s may be helpful to teach children about personal boundaries, setting and maintaining them. Also sometimes it’s us who are actually shy to talk about these things and not the kids!

“I’ll be there” I present this point for emphasis at the end. Let your child know through action and speech that you are there for them in their time of need. As the saying goes “there’s a fine line between mothering and smothering”, though if handled well we get rewarded by seeing our children become fine, independant adults.