Even though I’m a psychologist, I still find it’s easy to fall prey to negative thinking. Having negative thoughts play out like a painful movie=, something that I’ve experienced many times throughout my life. Negative thoughts drain your energy and keep you from being in the present moment. The more you give in to your negative thoughts, the stronger they become. I like the imagery of a small ball rolling along the ground, and as it rolls, it becomes bigger and faster. That’s what one small negative thought can turn into: a huge, speeding ball of ugliness. On the contrary, a small positive thought can have the same effect blossoming into a beautiful outcome.

ammara3Everyone wants love in their life, but it comes with a price. When you don’t consciously seek out positive thoughts, negative thoughts might gradually take over.Being positive doesn’t necessarily mean that you don’t have negative thought at all. It means, just don’t let the negative overcome you. Over thinking is literally a gate way to negative thoughts and can often dictate one’s entire life. Sometimes it’s not the pain that makes you suffer; it’s your own negative thought that makes things seem worse. So, Guys! Take this life easy.

I know thatit can be extremely difficult to focus on the good when, seemingly, bad things are happening in your life. However you can train your mind to focus on the good things in your life rather than dwelling on the bad.

This article is not about the advantages of positive thinking only. This is about changing the way you think, changing your thinking pattern. Here are few destructive thinking patterns that cause the problem worse.

Life is miserable: Everything in life is bad, everybody is not to be trusted and nothing good will ever happen to them e.g. “I won’t get that job, the interviewer didn’t like me, and I didn’t particularly like them anyway.”

Unproven conclusions: You tend to make a lot of conclusions without any evidence to back up your conclusions. This can be a really destructive pattern as it can limit you in seeing reality for what it is e.g. “he didn’t call back, he’s must avoiding me.”

Never to me: This is when you think nothing good will ever happen to you. This can be a deep seated way of thinking and it is a deep down inability to believe you are worthy of anything good happening to you e.g. “I’ll never have money.”

The negative cognitions: Presuming you know what people are thinking about you and it’s all bad. e.g. “She thinks I’m an idiot, I’ll try to avoid talking to her.”

Emotion based:Your emotions control what you are thinking and therefore your vision of what reality is distorted, e.g. “I feel incapable of doing that so I must be incapable”.

It’s totally my fault: You see yourself as being the cause of everything bad that has happened e.g. “It’s my fault he left me for another woman.” You’ll notice this type of person does not take responsibility for the good things that happen.

People areincapable: You see everyone as incapable of doing anything right and your way is the best way to do it e.g. “He can’t do it right, I’ll stay late tonight and fix it when he’s gone.”

These are just some of the common thinking patterns I have come across in my life and I have used some of them myself, I used to use mix the ‘Emotion based’ and ‘Unproven conclusions’ thinking patterns about everything. I made a conscious effort to change what I believed about myself and what I believed about the world and it has literally changed my life. It only takes three major steps to change a thinking pattern. Let me explain it to you:

The first step of changing is to identify the problem:

If you want to change you must think there is a need and you will start to recognize what things need to change and it usually starts with your perception of life. Everybody’s perception of life is different; therefore everyone’s reality is different. I don’t live in the same world as you and you don’t live in the same world as me. That might sound a strange concept to some people, but think about it for a few minutes, it could change the way you see the world.

The second step is to be aware of when you are using the destructive thinking patterns:

We can employ different thinking patterns depending on what we are doing in life. For example you could use a positive thinking pattern at work as you are very confident in your ability and yet use a destructive one when it comes to looking for love. Recognizing when you use destructive thinking patterns can help you to change that pattern. Now that you have recognized when you use the destructive thinking patterns it is now time to change it.

The third stage is to replace the bad with the good:

This is something that you don’t do immediately. You don’t say to yourself ‘I’ll never be able to do that”, which is you old thinking pattern, to “Oh yes I can”. That won’t work. You have to let the old pattern die slowly whilst slowly introducing your new improved thinking pattern.

After a few months you will see a huge difference in your life and you will want to use your new way of thinking. You will start to notice new types of people enter into your life who can help you reach the goals you have in life and in turn you will help them reach their goals, don’t worry about how just now.