‘How to Notice when Safety is at Risk?’
We wonder about what just happened. We just started an innocent conversation but how did it turn to crucial conversation. We don’t know the answer at the moment. But we contribute a lot to make things worse. Because we are too much involved in getting what we want at any cast, so we force our opinions or ideas onto others. We focus on content that we want to deliver and we can’t look for others people, how do they feel and act during conversation. So we are involved in interpersonal blindness. We lack effective communication skills and we really don’t know about what do we really want for ourselves, others and for existing relationships.
Muhammad Saghir has done Msc in applied psychology. Currently he is doing M.phil in clinical psychology from international Islamic University Islamabad. He has keen interest in research hence he has conducted a research on depression and subsyndromal depression.
Editor: Hameeda Batool
Hence we lack dual processing. We don’t look and examine both why and what, for instance why people are becoming upset or holding back their views or staying silent and what to look for to get back to the track. It’s like a social first aid. By watching conditions or elements that make conversation crucial, we can fix it as earlier as possible and consequently prevent severe damages.
Watch for conditions:
Here are some conditions that can lead us to successful conversations.
- Learn to spot crucial conversations.
- Learn to look for safety problems.
- Look for your style under stress.
Learn to spot crucial conversations: In order to spot crucial conversation, we should stay alert to the moment a normal, causal or harmless conversation turns to crucial conversation. Pay attention to the fact that we are going to enter the danger zone. So we can either save ourselves from silly games or from sucker’s choices. Here are some cues that should be focused during crucial conversations.
- Physical signals: Tightness in stomach, dryness in eyes and mouth, etc. Think about what happens to your body during tough conversations. These physical cues vary from person to person so pay heed to your body when conversations get tough to spot it. Whatever these cues are, they are the signs to step back, slow down and start with heart before things get worse.
- Emotional cues: Feelings of being scared, hurt, and angry. We either react to these feelings or suppress them. Hence these emotional signals are great signs to step back, slow down and take steps to keep brain on track.
- Behavioral signals: Raising voice, pointing finger like a loaded weapon, and remaining very silent. These are signs to know about foul shots which lead away from healthy dialogue.
Learn to look for Safety Problems:
There are many signs that show us about the safety problems. When we are in the middle of crucial conversation, we are not heeding to the signs of safety issues. Because at that stage we are lacking dual-processing, we even don’t know about safety problems our mere focus is content (what are we communicating). People who are master in dialogue, they are vigilant at monitoring their content and signs of fear in others while communicating.