Letting go of resentments or events that bring pain in an individual’s life is a healthy choice. Letting go does not mean to forget about unpleasant events as this is humanly impossible, but to deal with the situation positively and mindfully in order to bring about peace to you and not hold any grudges against anyone. Being not able to let go has many disadvantages, such as it can lead to letting all unresolved painful incidents out in a harmful manner. When too many resentments keep piling up there is a chance of you to explode one day due to their pressure and pain.It also causes harm to you deep inside, in terms of your health. You should never dwell on unresolved painful matters as this causes negativity leading to bad decisions or poorly handling a situation.To me letting go is; when a painful event happens and finishes, weigh out the pros and cons, find out if there is any blessing in disguised, learn the lesson and then decide to let go the pain.

asim jalalIn order to let go or forgive you need to learn new skills, skills to forgive and move forward without the baggage of resentments. You need to focus what is in your control and that is your perception. Rather than looking at the situation from one perspective being your own you need to learn to change your perspective. Looking at the situation from all angles and aspects helps to understand the incident that made you feel uncomfortable and pain. Resentments build up when you are insulted or your personal self or ego is directly hit. One way of letting go is to give feedback to the person responsible of giving you pain so that they know and understand what happened did not make you feel that good and it gave you pain. This is a positive and constructive approach to handle such situations.

Learning the skill of letting go is a time taking skill, you need to practice and practice deliberately until this new habit doesn’t start happening automatically. Positivity is the key and in order to learn to let go you would need to maintain this approach and not let negativity like anger and emotions cloud your judgment. Empathize in order to eliminate any misconceptions and know why they said that hurt you. It will also help you to change your perception. You may find out that it was out of concern or being helpful in order to make you realize but that approach caused pain for you.So you may let go the painful part.

When an unresolved event is very intense and traumatic crying is a healthy way to disperse the pain. Research shows that it releases harmful toxins and emotions which are otherwise stuck inside and causing distress. Writing a blog or a journal about your resentments and then making different pictures positive ones of the outcome can reduce the pain if not eliminate it.Our mind relies on images to remember in the form of memory hence making positive alternative pictures create an optimistic and healthy impact on your mind about the issue.

Not everyone can change because you want them to in terms of any painful event. For example a person talks normally loudly and this you don’t like or rather personalize as an insult then you need to adapt and learn the skill of forgiveness and let go. Many of us need are aware of the fact that if these resentments left unresolved psychologically results into revenge. Revenge is when you make a situation where the other person feels the same pain, the way they made you feel. It is a negative way of handling situations. So whenever in the future you feel a resentment towards someone deal with it positively, empathize and see the situation from all angles and rather than keeping the matter unresolved and carrying the extra baggage of pain give feedback and resolve the matter to gain peaceotherwise the only person who is in harm’s way and feeling hurt is you.