Written by:
Sibtain Mustafa Bajwa

Every human being is designed in same way, excluding the developmental differences. If we consider the brain structure, all humans are same or it wouldn’t be wrong to say that we are hardwired in the same way. So why we act so differently, develop different beliefs or perceive differently?


Sibtain Mustafa serves as Clinical Psychologist at Willing ways Lahore. He has done Master’s in Clinical Psychology, from University of Karachi, Karachi. He has served as an internee at Anti Narcotics Force-ANF Rehabilitation Center, Karachi. During his internship he developed understanding of basic concepts in addiction. Furthermore he has worked as a trainee psychologist in Alleviate Addiction Suffering (AAS) Trust, Karachi.

Editor: Haroon Christy


Simplest explanation is that every individual has own memories, own way of thinking and handling emotions. Despite of same hardware, we possess different software. It allows us to be our genuine selves. There is a still a debate about the source or origin of our operating system whether is it our soul? Or mind? Or both? But majority can make peace over the idea that humans are unique beings. Many learn and update their software and become wiser.

In contrast, some just live with the built-in software, they learn through trial & error. Nature, our genes and nurture, our surroundings, combine together to make us different. Life experiences and interest contributes to our perceptions. A child born in England can speak English though a child born in china can speak Chinese and other natives can speak their languages too.   

According to the best resources, there are 6909 languages in the world, invented by us, the sapiens. So we are that much different. Even to the extent that in one language, a single word holds different meanings. The voice tone, our facial expressions, body gestures, selection of words, delivery of sentences and there are many other factors that can matter a lot. Basic division of communication is just in two categories, verbal and non-verbal. Although the purpose of this article narrows our focus down to one domain of communication, listening.

Communication experts believe that listening is a primary skill in a dialogue or conversation. Listening is not just hearing the voice rather understanding the other individual. Moreover, using that information for productivity of relations. Becoming an effective listener is the essential key to communication.  Now point to ponder is, how can anyone become a smart listener?