This Article is from a video by Dr. Sadaqat Ali, titled:
“Love affairs, Breakups & Drugs”
Humans have a tendency to nurture and develop relationships on the foundation of care, sacrifice, commitment and most importantly love. The field of science has dug out deep into the possibilities of precise benefits of the technology, but it has utterly disappointed with its lack of providing an insight in the possibilities and probabilities of welfare and prosperity generated by the healthy relationships. The art of initiating and developing these healthy and viable relationships must be taught since the adolescence in school as well as at home. We must emphasis on the correct definition of love- a definition of unconditional positive regard and the calm and affirmation feel in the presence of a person. This definition must delicately deal with the hair line differences of act of love and act of transient attraction. We can, therefore, inculcate in our generation a true meaning of love- a meaning which entrust one the ‘search of finding the meaning of life together with another person to achieve the greater harmony.
The approach to find love, being preached these days to the young lot, is harmful to their own well-being.The young teenagers, who are at the helm of entering into realm of professional life, do not have the requisite knowledge and skills of handling the intimate feelings. They directed them towards the wrong person and in return, get themselves trapped in an unhealthy and nerve wrecking relationships.To combat the anxiety of these relationships, they may engage themselves with drugs which provide them relief, no matter transiently. This vicious cycle of love affairs based on wrong notion of love, breakups and drugs clearly depicts the dilemma of our current generation. Many youngsters need to be educated so that they cannot be trapped in this very vicious cycle in the first place. But, if they have been fallen into the trap of this cycle, then it is the duty of our society to guide and counsel that particular youth towards the right path. We need to introduce a new system into our society of letting our youngsters of getting to know about their potential life partners without violating the social and religious boundaries. We must come up with the idea of channelizing our feelings towards a right person, who can compliment us to achieve the combined growth of our own personalities.
Transition from elementary to middle school is filled with challenges from social, familiar & academic domains. Moreover, during this time is it when children are most exposed and vulnerable to fall for drug use such as cigarettes & alcohol. This is followed by excessive availability of drugs and drug using opportunities as they enter high school. Most people assume, adventurous native during teenage to be a normal part of the developmental process, however, this may also lead to increased tendency of manipulative behaviors, as rationale brain is not fully developed until one reaches mid-20s.
The agony and trauma of breaking our relationships up with the ones, whom we have considered the irreplaceable and inevitable in all conditions, is tormenting for us the remaining of our lives. Drugs have produced more decrepit and dilapidated individuals than the cruelty of some evil powers. We need to tell our children the repercussions of these false hideouts of drugs. We must be vigilant as parents, siblings, friends and teachers of the potential individuals who can resort to such harmful behaviors. The lessons must start at the home where parents can share their love equally with their children. They can develop a trustful relationship which must be an only hideout for them. Let’s open the door of mutual trust and love. Let’s adopt healthy values not at personal level but also at societal level. Let’s ask for help for those loved ones who are struggling to make sense out of their lives. Let’s make this life a paradise by sharing our time and love with our family, friends and the ones who are in our vicinity. Let’s dream together and let’s work together to make these dreams a reality. Let’s start it now.
Written by Wajeeha Naseer (Clinical Psychologist)
Thoughts: Dr. Sadaqat Ali