If we closely observe we will see that addictions are usually used to safeguard oneself from those feelings that are no more endurable. A very important point that sticks to addiction is the reality that people start working towards their addiction when it’s out of hand. haroon-charistySuch a behavior is seen in love addiction too where a love addict is totally and madly obsessive about the other person and values him/her much more even to their own selves. Interestingly there can be two love addicts dependent on each other and they would never realize that what are they being addicted to and spend their whole life like that.

Love addiction is not specific to any type of personality rather where there is a factor of neglecting, chances are high that love addiction will take place sooner or later. Actually when you start feeling being neglected, you start spending most of the time alone resulting in daydreaming and building up a fantasy world. Being in a fantasy world makes you feel good in head that results in chemical changes in body leading to joy, happiness or in other words relief. This chemical change is actually what they are found to be addicted to and we can safely say that  in actual they are not addicted to love rather they are addicted to their fantasy world.

A very important point to mention here is that love addiction doesn’t limit to romance only rather it can happen towards your children, friends, etc or even to the people that are not seen in actual or ever met to. In this category celebrities are the most common example.

The biggest denial love addicts are being through is their high expectations from the other end that they will be taken care of them passably, will look upon them unconditionally and will take complete care of them wholly. When this fantasy world model breaks up, then comes the resentments and this is when the relationship graph starts showing the downward trend ending up to conflicts and differences. Also psychiatric meltdown is seen when the fantasy world breaks resulting in suicidal attempts,  homicidal activities and most often cynical panic attacks. These are actually the psychiatric withdrawals that are seen to be very pathological in nature.

Deep down if we look at the past of a love addict there is an element of abandonment from caregivers in childhood. The very basic need of a child for love and affection either from both parents or from any one of them if not met, than converts to same demand in adulthood known as love addiction causing low self-esteem, fear of abandonment and fear of intimacy.

Now the question arises how to overcome such addiction: Well the first and the foremost important step is to rediscover oneself while moving on step by step. The first step is the denial breakage where the addict accepts that he/she is in addiction and needs help. At this stage an addict understands the bitter consequences of an addiction and prepares to pull oneself from the trap of addiction. Next comes the grief recovery process where the addict faces lots of emotional pain of emptiness, anger and fear. The old negative behaviors that make up the strong foundation of such addiction needs to be acted out and needs to be replaced by positive approaches. It is highly recommended to get in contact with a professional therapist to take help accordingly. An important point to be noted down here is that an addict accepts professional help only when in withdrawals, if they are not facing any withdrawals than that’s an indicator that  they are still in a fantasy world like any other drug addict who either snorts cocaine, medicates on tranquilizers or smoking dope. 

In a nutshell the core work required in order to get over such addiction is to learn how to esteem oneself and how to take care of your own well being. This is actually where the love addicts are weak and needs recovery. A therapist helps in showing the difference between the real worlds versus the fantasy world and facilitates them to come to the real world by helping them answer, who am I in actual?