Written by:
Duaa Sarfraz

People go through a lot, growing up we have to face many challenges. Some people have it a lot worse. They might have to grow up with abusive parents. Some may have to deal with obesity and face fat-shaming in school and even in their own house. Some people might be forced to marry someone, and now live hating and resenting themselves. Some children might be bullied at school every day. People force you to hate yourself, to hate your body, to hate your views.

Sometimes people betray you, the ones who you trusted the most. In these situations you doubt yourself. Some even suffered from cyber bullying. Many people just don’t know where the negativity came from, they fail to judge the reason behind their negative thoughts and negative behaviors.

All this hate and bullying doesn’t matter. What matters is your own paradigm for yourself.

It isn’t important. People telling you that you’re too fat to do something shouldn’t stop from doing what you want. It doesn’t matter who told you; that you deserve to be beaten, that you can’t take care of yourself because you’re too dumb, that you have to marry someone, that you deserve to be bullied every day. This is up to you if you want to pay heed to what other people say about you. But in the end it should be your decision. Other people’s point of view shouldn’t bother you and even if it does, you should take positive steps to ensure that you still have control over your life. You have to know that this is your life and no one should have to control it for you.

To have control, you have to love yourself. You have to love your views, your body, your life, your everything. If you love yourself it means that you are willing to take steps to further improve. Maybe, declining to do something that doesn’t necessarily feel right. Maybe saying no to spending time with the person who makes you uncomfortable etc. The point is that you have to take care of yourself, you have to care about your mental and physical health. And you won’t be able to do it without loving yourself.

First step that you have to take for learning to love yourself is that you have to change your self-perception. You have to think differently than what other people force you think. But, bare in mind that you don’t have to be different to think differently of yourself, or to be worthy. You are worthy if you are true to yourself. True to your nature, to your core beliefs. Because if you relate your worthiness with someone or something other than yourself, you’ll never be capable of loving yourself. Your inner voice-the inner critic, will criticize you, your every waking moment. Your ego will get hurt and you won’t be able you recognize your achievements because with every achievement your mind will ask for the next big thing.