Zeeshan finally reached the top after spending his whole career working hard his way up the corporate ladder. He is 48 years old, did his best to achieve success in his field. And when he reached the pinnacle, one day he told his wife that now he wants to quit.

He wasn’t aware of the fact that he is suffering from some sort of mental health problem. His wife convinced him to go to therapy before making any major changes in life. He wanted to resolve what was going on in his mind so he happily agreed to do so. When he came into my office, he did his catharsis first that he’d worked so hard his whole life with this thought that a powerful job and a big salary would make him feel that he is a successful person. As if now he got everything he always wanted to, and he is not in peace besides everything he wished and got. And he has started realizing that he was wrong.

Fariha Naz11Ms. Fariha Naz had served as a trainee clinical psychologist in Psychiatry Department of Jinnah hospital and Mayo Hospital Lahore. These training periods included assessment and management of psychological disorders. In Mayo Hospital she worked in play settings, where she worked on psychological testing. During her training period she consulted books of psychiatry for getting extensive knowledge on medicine for psychiatric patients. She has also conducted workshop on stress management.

Editor:  Arman Ahmed

He always wanted to work for a nonprofit organization that helped at-risk youth.  What he thought was using all of his skills to help other people and this will be more beneficial, rewarding and valuable in a different way Zeeshan wasn’t experiencing any kind of mental health issue. In fact, I should say that he was probably healthier than he’d ever been. He’d settled on his own definition of attainment and for the first time in his life, he started living his life the way he always wanted to along with all the values.

You have to devise your own definition of success, because if you don’t other people will define it for you. Like Zeeshan, there are many people who spend their whole life working hard to achieve success, which in actual isn’t success for them. Try not to make this mistake, making your definition of success will resolve your conflicts and give you what you want and deserve.


Every day you receive messages about what success is to you, most probably your parents send you messages regarding success and this might still echo in your head all the time. Because these are the primary source of our first learning. Social media is a powerful medium for inducing definition of success in your head; Advertisements telling you that successful people drive certain cars or use certain products might convince you that you’re not good enough until you have earned the money to attain such things. Articles, videos, audios show you what successful people do. Everyone is sharing his success on Facebook, and when you ask them, they tell you how successful they believe they are.  You need to create your own definition, otherwise others definitions will shape how you evaluate yourself.

You need to ask yourself few questions to gain perspective, if it’s really important for you. Try to look into future and ask yourself that when you will be 100 years old and you will look back over your life, what would make you think that your time was well spent. If you have earned enough money to leave your family a huge inheritance, will you be able to feel like you spent your time very wisely. Helping s lot of other people along the way will make your time worth spending or you will feel fulfilled if you discovered all corners of the earth.

If you find answers to all these questions that will surely give you your own definition of success. Once you are done with this, write it down somewhere or at least save it, so that it could help you remembering your definition. Well lived life needs extra effort and clarity. Keep that definition with you, because there will be times you’ll want to refer back to it. Clarity makes easy to take decisions. Everything you do, it should align with your definition. Mentally strong people do lot of stuff to make their lives better than the rest of people, one of them is that they don’t resent other people’s success. But if you don’t know your personal definition of success, it’s  going to be difficult  to avoid feelings of envy and resentment. One key to stay at your own path is that don’t let other people’s lifestyle blur your definition of success. Perhaps your neighbor got a new car, or a Facebook friend is enjoying his life, travelling around the world. It’s very easy to think this way that these people have a better life than you do. Whenever you feel bit low, just have a look at your own definition of success, remind yourself that everyone has a unique journey and if you will start comparing your life t others, this will only make you feel worse. It’s not going to bring any good to you. Resenting upon others success will waste your ime, rather you can work on your goals and make your life better than theirs. Prioritize things that matter most to you and start working on them, impossible is just a small word and you can make it happen. Keep going with this faith.