Written by:
Paras Mir

It can’t happen without this first vital step.

Life is a continuous process of change. Every moment brings bitter and joyful experiences in life. Many of us rely on others for moral and social support. But emotional dependence and codependency can lead toward disturbance in mood management. Here I shared a sad tale of emotional desertion of female shared while waiting for train. The women shared her story in which she faced a lot of sufferings; her father died in very young age. Her mother remarried and she has to live with her two step brothers and sisters. She faced multiple experiences of bullying at school. She felt too ashamed for these experiences. 


Paras Meer Works as a clinical psychologist at willing ways. She joined willing ways in April 2017 as researcher and clinical psychologist. She has done MS (Health Psychology) and BS (Hons) in Applied Psychology from Lahore College for Women University, Lahore. Counseling Psychology, Clinical Psychology, Organizational Psychology and Research are her areas of interest and Specialty.

Editor: Haroon Christy


She faced inattention and negligence from her mother. She had grown up with the intense feeling of inferiority and isolation. Her friends continuously let her down. She faced discrimination and exploitation at work place. Even many government and non-government organization take advantage of her. She is continuously experiencing painful life experiences. No one support her, console her.

It is easy to recognize the people who cheat us. But it is very difficult to notice that we are ignoring our self and prestige for others. Our society acknowledges an individual when he/she let her down to get approval and conformity from society. In some aspects its healthy, it’s in our nature. Humans are social animals and need social approval to continue its survival. But when this need limits a person ability to work for his/her self. Its need to seriously work on this. Following are the ways in which an individual abandon it.

Sometime we are judging ourselves harshly. Continuously criticizing ourselves and use negative self-talk.  Usually the people with low self-esteem judge their selves on inflexible and strict criteria’s.

They neglect their selves and refuse to take care of their mental and physical health. Health is defined as an optimum state of physical, mental, social and spiritual health. So self-care should be first priority of us.

The people with high need of dependence usually ignore and suppress their needs and feelings. They blindly follow others and please other by ignoring and hurting their selves. So your respect and prestige should be you’re first and foremost priority.