Written by:
Amina Javed

Socializing within culture often demands concession whether you are man or women, but if we speak specifically then females are in particular pressurized to do something extra other than what they need to do and it is considered to be the best thing quality anyone can have. The actualities of modern society ask us to perform different societal roles such as life partner or loving partner, parental relationship, son or daughter, as worker and also CEO or supervisors. With all these responsibilities and relationships, others also expect us to look perfect and presentable in every situation. These demands can burden us not only physically but psychologically as well.

Amina Javed is working as Clinical Psychologist at Willing Ways, Lahore. In 2015, she completed her MS in clinical psychology, from Centre Clinical Psychology, University of the Punjab, Lahore. In 2013, she did her BS in Clinical Psychology, University of the Punjab, Lahore.

Editor: Haroon Christy

While we are in constant struggle of managing our responsibilities of home, work and school or college university life, we are asked to be sweet and nice without losing our temper. If someone ask us to take care of their pet, we are expected to say “yes” without resistant, if someone ask to carry things for them, leaving our seats for someone, giving our rights to others and giving space to someone who came late in queue, all these acts burden us but we are expected to be nice and do all these mistakes with smile and we are expected to say “Yes”  to cover the assignment of our colleague who is on leave Such people are consider to be nice who are making such mistakes.

As the niceness increases and responsibilities start mounting, we started being burn out, felt mental pressure all the time, being exhausted and it can also leads us to become even offended and we started thinking and expecting others to understand our position own their own, we jump to conclusion that others should understand our minds and should see that we had enough. These kinds of problems are not just specifically for women but anyone who is handling multiple social relationship can go through these troubles. Mostly, we can see that all of us are battling multiple responsibilities and expectations but in our culture it is not that much difficult for males to say “No” but for females saying “No” is far more difficult.  The social pressure which females have to handle is much more than males and they have no escape from these social responsibilities.

Saying “No” is great and as soon as we realize that we are not bound to make everything all better for other person, we feel relieved from the responsibilities. Social pressures made us feel selfish if we think about ourselves before we could think about others. Although it is not the case, we are the one who have the utmost right on ourselves. We need to understand our own needs, as a professional woman, I feel exhausted and tired of being selfish if I consider myself a priority on others around me. I am tired and relationships are making me pressurized, i am asked to fulfill certain unrealistic expectations, I want to yell and wanted others to know that it’s enough for me to keep on working and helping others whether taking care of pets, baby or your food, I am tired of being nice without even acknowledgment. I am tired of saying “Yes” all the time.