For many years self-esteem was seen to be the significant to psychological health. However, research psychologists have recognized several downsides to the endless search of self-esteem such as narcissism, ego-defensiveness, constant social comparisons, and uncertainty of self-worth.

Research suggests that self-compassion is a healthier way of relating to oneself, posing all the profits of self-esteem without its downsides. Self-compassion involves treating ourselves kind hearted, like we would a good friend we liked about. Rather than frequently judging and assessing ourselves, self-compassion involves creating kindness toward ourselves as imperfect humans, and learning to be current with the predictable struggles of life with greater ease.

Maryam-Riaz 3Maryam Riaz has completed her Masters in Clinical Psychology from Quaid-i-Azam University, Islamabad. She has also done Post Graduate Diploma in Clinical Psychology from Fauji Foundation University. Her research work includes leadership styles and Pygmalion effect in bank managers and their subordinates and another research was on organizational commitment and job Stress.

Editor: Maryam Shah

It motivates us to make desirable changes in our lives not because we’re worthless or insufficient, but because we care about ourselves and want to lessen our misery. All life we keep on looking for love from others, our very feeling and belief lies in the fact that if we are able to find true love, our lives will be transformed and we will find immense happiness on earth or otherwise we will continue to wallow in the valley of despair. The matter of fact is that real love comes from within, that is love and respect for one’s own self.

We can only get love from others if we can love ourselves since you cannot give something to others which you do not have. The way to loving yourself is to be positive about yourself and do not let negative elements take over you, have a healthy sense of self esteem by effectively appreciating  all your abilities and efforts. In childhood our self esteem and self worth lies in the very basis of our acceptance and value by others as individuals for our abilities, and this is reciprocal to our confidence and the way we lead our lives, if we lack in self worth we are not confident about ourselves and lack motivation and self respect in life.


  • Healthy self-worth can be help you
  • Withstand peer pressure
  • Try new things and get to know
  • Deal with disappointment, mistakes and failure
  • Feel loved and wanted