We human beings are the creature with emotional brain and rational brain. We think and we feel. We get affected by some environmental cues and we feel, we talk and we feel, we decide and we feel. In every area of life we go through different number of feelings. At times we think for the solution but most of the time we handle the situation by being emotionally reactive. The more we tackle the situations through our emotional brain, the more we would become emotionally charged person. Thus our emotions tend to get out of control in the time of crises and we start reacting to the situations rather that responding them.

asma-qureshiIn such circumstances, usually people give us the feedback with these words, “why do you get so much emotional?” “Why don’t you control your emotions and think positively?” “You should be focused on you emotional handling!!” “You are over reacting!!” “Be logical not be emotional!!” “You should not be emotional” “it’s your fault so you don’t deserve to be emotional”….these all statements show that we should never experience any sort of emotions and we should not give them much importance as well. This is totally inhuman. By doing so, we are neglecting the existence of the emotions, thus not accepting them.

The reality is, emotions are useful. They help us to change the course as we face new problems or circumstances. They help us to curve the balls that threaten to destabilize our lives or even end them. Emotions no matter how intense or upsetting, all have a natural life span. All emotions develop just like a wave.

They rise, crest and finally recede, and they are time limited

Seeing an emotion as a wave can help you wait it out, rather than getting swept up in emotion-driven behavior. When you are in the middle of the intense feeling, sometimes it seems as if it will go on forever. This is the illusion created by the strength of the emotion, and sometimes by the efforts to resist and suppress the feelings. Every emotion will end or morph into something else.

We humans can’t control emotions, meaning we can’t stop them or get rid of them with an act of will. An extra ordinary wealth of scientific research has revealed that attempts to suppress, numb, or push away emotions usually fail.

What we resist……….. Persists!!

You can’t stop and resist emotions; and some efforts to control them will only make them worse. What we can do then????

  • Don’t push away your any contaminated emotions
  • Accept them as a part of your over all emotional experiences
  • Don’t neglect or ignore them, just pay attention to them
  • Deal them there and then rather than suppressing them
  • Accept any of your upsetting emotion as a part of your any situational experience
  • Don’t hide them, express them effectively
  • Take care of them, so that they won’t make you feel upset again with the same magnitude.