An article written by
Hameeda Batool:

Whenever our loved or dear one experience some deep pain or is going through some rough times because of some traumatic event, it can be difficult to know how to respond. Despite of the dire need to solve their problem or provide them with emotional and physical support; we fail to bring them out of the problem and the situation gets worst. Even though you want to be there for them, you find that many of your efforts seem to be in vain. We need to understand that after any sort of traumatic event occurred in your partners life can make you feel as if there is a third person in your relationship. It’s you, your partner and the pain of the crisis.

Trauma is the result of our experience to some sort of stressful event that generates intense emotional response like helplessness, fear, or horror. For this reason, there is a fundamental shift in our views regarding our sense of identity, people around us and the coming future.

Batool KhanHameeda Batool is currently working as a Clinical Psychologist in Willing Ways Lahore. She has done her Masters in psychology from Punjab University and MS in Clinical Psychology from Government College University Lahore. She has worked as an intern at Combined Military Hospital (CMH) Lahore and Ganga Ram Hospital. There she was trained in conducting group sessions, assessment and management of different psychological disorders such as Addiction, OCD, Depression.

Editor: Arman Ahmed

This creates a gigantic impact on every aspect of the life of your partner. He or she may not be unable to properly carry on their daily functioning and it can also create and imbalance in their emotions.  As a result you and your partner’s life start changing.

Traumatic events come in many different shapes and sizes, each with varying impact. The intensity with which it affects us depends on our history, relationships and support system. Experiences like car accidents, any mental of major physical illness, physical assault, infidelity, job loss, infertility or miscarriage, or deaths of loved ones can all be traumatic. Additionally, difficult early childhood experiences such as childhood neglect or sexual abuse may produce difficulties for you or your partner on in later life.


Sadly, many symptoms of post-traumatic stress can contribute to problems in even the most closed, loving and committed relationships. From many of the symptoms some of the symptoms your partner may experience include heightened anxiety, mood changes, irritability, agitation, guilt, a strong desire to isolate, an ever-present sense of fear, or feelings of mistrust. You, too, can suffer from these symptoms as a result of your partner’s experience. Any of these symptoms can result in poor communication and derives disconnection between people in relationship. Moreover, traumatic experiences can diminish our overall sense of safety with the surrounding, causing us to either anxiously seek care from others or to go in complete avoidance out of a fear of personal vulnerability.