Written by:
Naila Aziz

You destroy your personality by letting in free objects from the roots of your past.  They basically follow you till the very end of your existence & if not dealt in proper time, you might end up being hurt or destroyed.  How this penetrates through our exterior includes being hurt, annoyed, in rage etc.  The power lies in being determined to erase all such heavily disastrous emotional burdens. 

There are incidences that make us come to a halt and the accompanied words get stuck to our souls. You cannot let these define you! These were mere moments, they might be nostalgic for you now, and you might want to end their actuality so that they don’t hit your morality in future. If you allow every undesirable chaotic event to interrupt your life, it will be difficult for you to sketch your own self and eventually this will abolish your own schema about yourself.

Now the question rises, what will happen when someone presents with an analysis of you in a manner that is not acceptable? How would you do justice to your expressions, they will definitely be ‘like them or like them not’.  But this does not mean that you should be drawn to create a negative self-image of yourself.  In this article, we will explore a number of reasons that according to us are ‘reasons’ of our crumbling identity.

Mistaking events where we don’t get appreciations should never be the reason to demotivate us; they should be stressed upon but not with a flabbergasted response.  If you think you will miss sympathy or someone being empathetic towards you if you banged your head against the wall because your love life was a mess, you’re wrong.  Like your emotions are timely & over rated, similarly are the other persons who would listen to you, pay attention, make you feel important even but what he/she won’t do is remember it or ruminate over it like you would.

This is a cyclic, self-fulfilling fore telling. If you don’t accept yourself as yourself, if would be difficult to move ahead.   What happened, happened! What was said and felt, will have to be let go because ruminating over and over again will only crash your judgment.  

A friend of mine told me a joke, ‘that my parents ruined our lives’. Across the universe, there a number of therapies that have been taught to clients to learn ways where their parents destroyed any opportunity they might have had for happiness.  Is it a reasonable thought? Thinking our parents smashed our lives? Do parents possess the capability to destroy the very essence of our existence? They raised us, but they also may have told us we were no good, we did not live up to their expectations, we harmed them by portraying the opposite of an image created by them. Even if you look back, over the years, you will see that there were many other people & incidences that aided to the fact that you are swinging like a pendulum between what you want & what others want.

When we explore other facets, we see how we think ancestors have ruined our life? When we think about our grandpa, all that comes to my mind is unselfish love. No matter what was going on with my parents, I always knew I would get unconditional love from my ancestors.  But thinking that our parents messed up our grandparents philosophy about their grandkids is a negative schema.